The Heartbreak Complication
by UndercoverQuill
Summary: This story picks up after the season 7 finale so may have conflicts with season 8. The group will be faced with some heartbreaks when they learn about the feelings Sheldon and Penny have been hiding. My first BBT fic, enjoy! :) CHAPTER 8 NOW UP! :)
1. Engagement

**Hello all and welcome to my first Big Bang Theory fic. It will be focussed on Shenny, though not immediately, I didn't want to rush things and make it unrealistic. Rated M for 'suggestive' content, mild sexual scenes, and just in case for later chapters. This story will be canon up to the season 7 finale, when I started to write it, but may have conflicts with season 8. In later chapters I will try to incorporate elements of season 8 into my story, so long as it doesn't conflict with my storyline, so I guess it's AU in terms of Shenny. It is my aim that this story will tell a more difficult side to Sheldon and Penny's relationship in terms of the sadness and heartbreak the whole group will be faced with if there is any cheating going on, or if Leonard/Penny or Amy/Sheldon break up. I've found a lot of fics just 'make room' for Shenny (not saying there's anything wrong with that - I've read great fics that do that) but I think there would be a more negative reaction from the whole friendship group than is often portrayed. So this is me giving it a go. As I said, this is my first BBT fic and and only second fic I've ever posted, I'm not an experienced writer so pleased review to help me improve - I don't mind criticism. _Disclaimer: Everything you recognise, including some dialogue, belongs to the respective creators/departments. _**

"We're engaged!" Penny announced. Her friends enveloped her in a joyous hug and spoke their many congratulations. Bernadette has taken a hold of Penny's left hand and was glazing admiringly at the diamond on her finger. She'd finally done it, she'd finally found the courage to commit to Leonard.

Penny always knew deep down that she wanted to be with him for the rest of forever, but the future scared her. Penny had felt that she couldn't trust herself. What if a gorgeous man came along who was athletic and a charmer? What if he was everything she had missed out on with all-too-kind, sensitive, slightly-awkward Leonard? Sometimes she lay in bed coveting just one great night with a guy who knew what he was doing_. It's not about sex!_ Penny would tell herself, she loved Leonard and that meant more than her sexual desires. She couldn't help think she had more fun when she was alone than with Leonard though. Just imagine, a guy who really knew what he was doing. Just one great night.

But those thoughts weren't an issue any more, and Penny was proud of herself for being able to straighten out her thoughts. In her head she knew exactly what she wanted and that was to marry Leonard. The future still scared her, but now it was a fear of all the babies Leonard would want right away, and the mortgage repayments on the family home in the suburbs that they'd just have to have. So, the future was still scary, but Penny was keeping her head, and living in the moment. She was engaged to be married to the man she loved. Weddings and houses and babies could wait.

xxx

The seven of them went out to celebrate, much to Sheldon's disappointment. It's was Thai food takeout night and he was more than prepared to send Leonard on his way to get their usual order. Penny, not in the mood to argue on her special night, agreed that they'd go out for Thai food at the 'fancy place' they'd never tried.

They took two cabs into town. The girls in the first and the guys in the second.

"I'm so happy for you, Penny," Bernadette told her, "and it'll be Amy next. We'll be three wives together."

"Oh, I don't know. Well, you know Sheldon."

"I know Sheldon loves you, Ames," Penny said, "in his own special way, he does."

"I don't know. I've been having my doubts. I mean, he is, and always will be the amazing Sheldon Cooper, and I get to be the girl who dates him. But.. Well, I just wonder, if we'll ever get there."

"Of course you will!" Interrupted Bernie, "he's still a guy, isn't he?"

"Yeah, but it's Sheldon," said Penny.

"That's what worries me," admitted Amy, "What if it's not him, what if he does have those sorts of feelings, just not about me."

Penny turned to Bernadette. "It's definitely not you," they said together. 'Besides,' Penny added, 'Leonard and I were speaking to Sheldon, and he said he hadn't ruled out the possibility of sex. So, you never know.' Penny was pleased with the way Amy's face lit up in delight.

'Oh, it's another tiara moment!' Amy beamed.

xxx

Meanwhile, Sheldon continued to express his uncertainty of going to an unfamiliar restaurant.

"We know nothing about this place, Leonard, for all we know it could be festering paradise for all those bacteria!"

"Sheldon, this place looks fine, it's posh, it's clean. Just give it a try." Leonard told him.

"_Give it a try?!_ Well, while I'm at it why don't I just wash my hands in a quaint little duck pond, or use Wolowitz's toothbrush!?"

"Do you always have to be so difficult?" Howard asked.

"Difficult!?" Sheldon questioned in disbelief.

"Yes, Sheldon, difficult!" Yelled Leonard. "We are going out for Penny, to celebrate. Stop being so selfish."

"Hey, at least you're all here with a girl. It's not nice always being the seventh-wheel you know," interjected Raj.

"You know, Leonard, if you want some tips on how to satisfy a gorgeous blonde, y'know, from someone who has one-" Leonard cut Howard off.

"You know what, I'm good.'

Sheldon returned the conversation to his complaints.

xxx

When the second cab pulled up outside the restaurant the girls had already gone inside. They were stood together at the bar and Amy had offered to buy the first round. Each person had their usual first drink. Penny, a large glass of white wine, Amy had red. A Cosmopolitan for Bernadette and a light beer for her husband Howard. Leonard was a simple pint of beer while Raj had a Grasshopper. And for Sheldon, a virgin Cuba libre, diet of course. They each picked up their drinks before being shown to their table.

"I'd like to propose a toast," began Howard once everybody was comfortably in their seats.

"Do you know why they call it a toast-?" Sheldon asked.

"Yes!" everyone else said at once.

"Anyways," Howard continued, "Marriage is a wonderful thing, as I myself have recently discovered, and I can't think of two people more deserving of this kind of happiness. They are perfect together. To Leonard and Penny."

"To Leonard and Penny!" everyone chorused.

"Awww, Howard, that was so sweet," Penny said. 'I almost can't believe it came out of your mouth.'

They each ordered their food and conversations continued around the table as they waited.

"Are you thinking about moving to a bigger place?" Bernadette asked Penny. "Now that you're engaged you'll be moving in together."

"Yeah. I guess my apartment is kind of small." Penny admitted. "Maybe I should move in across the hall and me and Leonard can adopt Sheldon..."

"I have to say Penny, I'm surprised you're keeping so calm about all this. Getting engaged, talking about moving out-"

"Moving out?!" Sheldon's voice came across the table. "Leonard, you're not thinking of moving out are you?"

Leonard, who had been in conversation with Raj, lifted his head.

"Well, yeah. I mean, we haven't actually talked about it. But, yes, I think Penny and I will be living together soon."

"No!" Sheldon's wail was like that of a stubborn child. "You can't!

"Why not?" asked Leonard, "and if you use the words _Roommate Agreement,_ I swear to God-"

Sheldon got up from the table and walked away.

"Sheldon, wait!" called Penny. "You should go after him," she told Leonard.

Leonard sighed but reluctantly left the table.

"I'm so glad this is finally happening," said Amy with a big smile, "now maybe Sheldon will let me be his roommate!"

xxx

Leonard found Sheldon waiting in the parking lot.

"Sheldon, you can't wait out here all night," Leonard told him.

"Why not? There are no laws stating that I can't stand outside the restaurant I'm eating at for a breath of fresh air. And there's certainly no time limit on how long one may step outside for a breath of fresh air. Assuming one doesn't plan to return once the restaurant has closed."

Leonard processed Sheldon's usual pointless literal argument.

"Sheldon, look, you know people in a relationship more often than not live together. You must have known eventually I'd move in with Penny."

"Actually, given your relationship history, and with Penny in particular, it was never going to be a certainty that you would be together for longer than a few months at a time. I assumed you would continue this off-on scenario until either you gave up or she saw sense."

Sheldon's comment was not meant to be so insulting, but he struggled to differentiate between brutal, honest truth, and polite opinion.

Leonard took a calming breath. Penny appeared from the restaurant.

"Sheldon, are you okay, Sweetie?"

"No, I'm not okay! Penny, as you know, I find it difficult to navigate some of life's most basic parameters. I have created an environment that is both stable and comforting. For this to remain constant, I need Leonard to be a part of that. And not to mention, if Leonard moves out, Amy will try to move in again. I can't live with her."

"Well, can we at least discuss this later?" Penny asked, "Our food arrived and it's going cold. Can we just have this one night? Please, Sheldon?" She gave him one of her Penny smiles which always reminded him, however briefly, of the importance of their friendship.

"Well, alright."

xxx

The evening continued almost without a hitch, there was a slight dramatic moment when there was no chocolate pudding on the menu but eventually Sheldon settled, however reluctantly, on peach cobbler. He complained that it was far from the quality of his mother's peach cobbler and Penny pointed out that it was most likely due to the lack of lard.

Everyone agreed that the night should end there so that Leonard and Penny could have some privacy on their engagement night. Leonard, Penny, and Sheldon shared a cab back to their apartment building on North Los Robles Avenue and everyone else went home.

"Wait, wait, wait..." Sheldon said as Leonard and Penny went over to her apartment door. "You said we'd talk about Leonard moving. Can we do that before you engage in the coitus?"

Leonard sighed but Sheldon noticed a small smile play on Penny's lips. Penny mused at how completely annoying, yet totally adorable Sheldon could be.

"Alright, Sheldon," she said, following him into his apartment. He disappeared into his room for a moment and returned with the binder containing the all-important Roommate Agreement. He then settled himself into his spot and invited his friends to sit.

"Can we just get this over with?" Leonard grumbled.

"Well, of course, Leonard," Sheldon said almost pleasantly. "Item 1," Leonard rolled his eyes and leant back in his chair. "Leonard, have you asked Penny if she wishes to live with you?"

"I'd have thought that was pretty obvious," Leonard replied, seeming suddenly nervous.

"Well, judging from experience, Penny has shown no desire in sharing accommodation with you."

"Uh- You didn't want to live with Amy either!" Penny spat.

"That's not the point, Penny. So, do you want to live with Leonard? I've managed to get him on a bathroom schedule."

"Of course," Penny said.

"Alright," Sheldon opened the Roommate agreement. "A girlfriend will be deemed 'living with' Leonard when she has stayed over; A, ten consecutive nights, B, more than nine nights in a three-week period, or C, all the weekends of a given month plus three weeknights." Penny and Leonard exchanged nervous looks.

"Sheldon, Penny isn't going to moving in here. I'm going to be moving out." Leonard explained.

"Yes, I had considered that, but her apartment is barely big enough to accommodate all of her belongings in a tidy fashion and that's after you utilise an organisational schematic. Therefore, it would be illogical for the two of you to live in her apartment. This means that the only logical solution is for Penny to move in and share your room. Now, the following provisions are hereby activated; in the refrigerator, as opposed to us having two separate shelves and one communal shelf, the three of us now get individual shelves and the door becomes communal. Apartment vacuuming shall be increased from two to three times a week to accommodate the increased accumulation of dead skin cells. Third, the bathroom schedule-"

"Sheldon!"

"I wasn't finished."

"Yes, you were. Had it occurred to you that Penny and I might live together- somewhere other than her apartment?"

"Well, of course. Here." Sheldon turned to Penny and lowered his voice, "Honestly, what do you see in him?" To Leonard, "Were Princeton just giving away doctorates with free pens the day you got yours?"

Leonard counted to ten in his head and took a breath.

"I mean had you considered Penny and I living somewhere other than her apartment or here, Sheldon?"

"No."

"Well, there is no specific clause that outlines what happens when one roommate wishes to leave, it appears I overlooked that as a possibility. Which means we go to clause 208 which states that all ties and disputes are settled by me. Penny, welcome to the apartment. Section 9 of the Roommate Agreement states that the apartment flag is a gold lio-"

"Sheldon. We are not moving in here," Leonard told him.

"But- the tie," Sheldon pointed out.

"Actually, no. Penny votes against so it's two against one. Ha."

"Penny? Penny is not considered a roommate when we vote and so she doesn't get a vote," Sheldon explained.

Penny shifts forward from her place beside Sheldon on the couch.

"So, I'm a roommate now?" she asks.

"Yes," Sheldon confirms.

"So, can we vote two against one to move out?" she asks Leonard. Sheldon gives Penny a bemused look.

"Why didn't I think of that?" Leonard thought aloud. "Bye, Sheldon."

Leonard grabbed Penny's wrist and dragged her in the direction of her apartment. Their lips had begun dancing before they'd even reached the hall.

xxx

Leonard pushed Penny backwards into her apartment, their feet shuffling, unsteady, across the floor. He released his hands from her hair to tug off his jacket by the sleeves and allowed it to fall to the floor. Penny had only managed to get one arm out of hers before she toppled onto the sofa with Leonard coming down on her to place kisses on her lips and neck.

"I love you so much," he gasped as he took in one quick breath before returning to her lips.

"I love you too," Penny said as Leonard trailed wet kisses down her neck and along her collarbone. She shifted beneath him to get comfortable. He began to take off their clothes. "Sweetie, let go to the bedroom."

Leonard's face lit up with boyish wonder and he scrambled to his feet, dragging Penny with him. By the time they reached the bedroom he was completely nude while she just wore her little, pink panties.

"I can't believe you're going to marry me," he mused.

"Leonard, sweetie," she whispered, "shut up." She smiled seductively before pulling them both down onto the bed.

xxx

"I think we'd be perfect as roommates, Sheldon," Amy said down the phone.

Sheldon rolled his eyes.

"Amy, you don't understand. I have a roommate. And while you do seem to prove excellent at working to my schedule, there is no space for you to live with me."

"But I thought Leonard was moving out-"

"No. He and Penny are moving in."

"What the hell, Sheldon! Why can Penny live with you but not me?"

"Well, firstly, because I have finally managed to get Leonard to work to my schedule, it took a lot of time and I'd hate for that to be in vain. And he will not stay without Penny."

"Is that your way of saying you need Leonard without actually admitting it?"

Sheldon ignored Amy's question.

"Secondly, you and I have only been boyfriend and girlfriend for three and a half years. I don't think we're ready to live together. But Penny on the other hand has very little to do with my life, if you discount her interrupting my routine. And finally, if you move in then before long you won't want separate bedrooms and who knows where it'll escalate?"

"But- I'd make a great roommate for you. We're so compatible," Amy said sadly.

"Amy, I'm not disagreeing with you. But you're a scientist, simple math should tell you that my apartment cannot accommodate a fourth person. Now, I must go, I have another call."

Sheldon hung up the phone and moved over to his laptop where he had an incoming Skype call.

"Good evening, Beverly."

"Good evening, Sheldon. If you'll excuse my manners I'd like to skip the pleasantries. What information can you offer me in regard to Leonard marrying the blonde waitress?"

xxx

Penny lay on the bed, somewhat bored with the foreplay that seemed to go on and on. Whatever Leonard was doing seemed to arouse him though, she could tell by the hard rod he kept thrusting into her hip. Admittedly, she wanted to get it over with.

"Leonard, sweetie?"

"Uh-huh?" He panted.

"I'm kind of- well, really- horny," she lied in a whisper.

"Oh," Leonard said with a grin and a nervous-excited giggle. "Well, in that case..."

He moved to reposition himself but Penny was faster. She came to straddle him, giving him sultry looks. She lowered herself onto him and began to move, slow at first but getting faster. "You like that?" she teased.

After several minutes she felt his hands grip her hips and hold her still. He let out an urgent, breathy, "stop!"

Understanding his warning that he was drawing close to climax, Penny said, "Don't worry, I'm there too." She lied and after a few more thrusts let out a fake, yet convincing orgasm. He followed quickly after, bucking into her as he exploded. He moaned loudly.

She climbed off him and for good measure she kissed him fully on the lips.

"I love you, Leonard Hofstadter,' she said warmly and it was true.

Penny reminded herself that it didn't matter that the sex was bad.

She pulled her robe around her naked body just as there was a knock at the door.

*knock, knock, knock* "Leonard and Penny." *knock, knock, knock* "Leonard and Penny." *knock, knock, knock* "Leonard and Penny."

"Yes, Sheldon," Penny greeted.

"If you've finished having the coitus, I need to speak to Leonard."

"What?" Leonard said, coming out of Penny's bedroom in his t-shirt and boxer shorts.

"Leonard, your mother's coming."


	2. Beverly's Visit

**So, here is chapter 2! I didn't intend to post so soon after the first chapter but seeing as it's the weekend, I thought I may as well. I tend to be busy in the week and so my posting won't be as frequent. In this chapter Leonard's mother is visiting, this sparks some conflict between Sheldon and Penny – this is the first little glimpse into Shenny. I find it quite a challenge to write Leonard's mother's dialogue so any feedback there would be great. If she makes a return appearance I'd like to make it better than this attempt. Hope you enjoy the chapter :)**

Leonard sat on his bed with his head in his hands. He didn't know what to expect. The previous night Sheldon had announced that Beverly, Leonard's mother, was coming to stay. She took a flight out in the early hours and Leonard had ten minutes before he had to leave to collect her from the airport.

He'd risen early and showered. He picked out smart black trousers and his favourite lilac and white striped shirt. He splashed himself with cologne, maybe a little too much judging by Sheldon's comments over breakfast.

Leonard had poured himself a bowl of cereal but the anxiety cause by his mother's impending arrival had put tight knots in his stomach and he couldn't take a bite.

"I don't know what you're so uneasy about, your mother is a delightful, intelligent, brilliant woman. How I envy you, Leonard." That Saturday's episode of Doctor Who on BBC America was just ending and it had put Sheldon in a good mood to greet Beverly. This made Leonard even more nervous.

He'd returned to his bedroom to calm down and consider all of the possible thing that could go wrong this weekend and how he could resolve them.

It was obvious to Leonard that his mother was coming after hearing about his engagement to Penny. Now, Beverly didn't disapprove of Penny the last time she saw her, in fact she'd been adamant that Leonard take care of her and to make sure that she wasn't responsible for her own orgasms. That was one less thing to worry about, Leonard thought, if last night was anything to go by. But since Beverly last visited, Leonard had discussed his relationship with Raj's sister Priya with his mother, and then again discussed Penny once they rekindled their romance. Leonard hoped his mother didn't think they were just on-off again, like Sheldon did.

Thinking things through really wasn't helping Leonard to put his mind at ease. He knew this weekend would be filled with conversations regarding his underachievement and he'd be subject to belittlement and humiliation. He recalled that Penny had survived Beverly's last visit and that the two of them were still a couple after Penny learned some truths about her boyfriend's childhood, but Leonard didn't take any comfort in that.

There was also the issue that not only Leonard's academic achievements were dwarfed by those of his siblings, but also his choice of spouse. His brother had married New Jersey's youngest appeals-court judge and two-time Olympic bronze medallist. Now, Leonard adored Penny, but coming from a family of overachievers, he expected his mother will have another reason to think far less of him than she does of his brother.

xxx

Leonard pulled his car up outside the airport and kept the engine running.

"Leonard, you can't stop here. This is the red zone. Only the white zone is for loading and unloading," Sheldon explained.

"Sheldon, get out. You can go with Penny to meet my mother. Be quick though, I don't want to have to circle the airport."

Penny and Sheldon got out of the car and headed into the terminal.

xxx

"Hi, Beverly," Penny greeted her future mother-in-law sweetly.

"Hello, Beverly," Sheldon said pleasantly.

"Hello to you both."

"Can I help with your bags?" Penny offered.

"If you insist, though I am capable," Beverly replied. Penny took one of her cases from her. "Oh, Sheldon, did I remember to thank you for the birthday gift that you sent?"

"You did."

"I found the witty jokes you made in the footnote very humorous," she told him.

"Thank you. I recalled Leonard saying that in your family you exchanged interesting research papers on birthdays or at Christmas. I thought it would be an appropriate gift."

"It was, much more so than the stuff bear that Leonard sent which holds a sign saying, 'I heart U, Mommy.' But that's to be expected from someone with unresolved childhood issues and those who crave attention," said Beverly.

Penny thought that Leonard's gift was sweet.

xxx

"Hello, mother," Leonard greeted once the three of them had taken their seats in the car. Sheldon had insisted he sit beside Beverly so that they could talk about science.

"Hello, Leonard."

"How was your flight?" He asked politely.

"Satisfactory, though I was relying entirely upon menial workers so I'm hardly in a position for anything better."

"I wouldn't call a pilot a menial worker," Penny states.

"Well, you would know," came Sheldon's response. She shot him a glare.

"Speaking of which, Leonard, your father is remarrying. The waitress from the University cafeteria."

"He never said anything," Leonard exclaimed.

"He never told me he was sleeping with her while we were married, what do you expect?"

Leonard and Penny exchanged an irritated look and remained silent for the remainder of the journey. Sheldon discussed the topic of his birthday research paper at length with Beverly.

xxx

They arrived back at 4A and Sheldon offered breakfast to Beverly.

"I know how unsanitary airplanes are. Not to mention how lacking the food is for one's dietary requirements," Sheldon empathises.

"Yes, I don't even accept the meals they offer anymore," said Beverly.

"Well, sit down mother and I'll tell you about my work," Leonard enthused.

"Any original work yet, Leonard?" his mother asked.

On noticing the tension Penny jumped at the chance to help Sheldon in the kitchen.

"Oh, that'll hardly be necessary, Penny. We both know your area of expertise do not lie in the culinary field. What was it that Leonard said? 'Too burnt and frozen at the same time.'" Sheldon laughs in an unpleasant way.

"I made you the spaghetti with little cut up hot dogs that you like-" Penny protested.

"Well, that's true. Okay, bring me two eggs."

Penny followed Sheldon's orders, though somewhat unwillingly. She'd rather help out than be the subject of Beverly's psychological scrutiny. Together they put together a cooked breakfast for Leonard's mother. Sheldon also made her one of his very specific cups of tea. They all gathered around the coffee table.

"So, Leonard, Sheldon tells me you're engaged," Beverly said casually between mouthfuls of egg.

"You told her?" Leonard asked, clearly exasperated.

"Of course, I texted her and then we discussed it at length on Skype," said Sheldon.

"Actually, mother, I'm engaged to Penny," Leonard announced proudly.

"Yes, I know."

"His brother married a two-time bronze medallist," Sheldon chimed in. "At best Penny made head cheerleader at High School."

"Actually, that was just a rumour, turns out they made Valerie Mosbacher head cheerleader," corrected Leonard.

Penny sighed.

"But, none of that matters because I love Penny and she has many wonderful qualities," Leonard smiled and kissed his fiancée on the cheek. His mother rolled her eyes.

"There's no need for the public display of affection, Leonard. Psychologically if you were convinced of all of her wonderful traits you wouldn't need to kiss her in front of us to prove your love. Classic overcompensation." Beverly finished her eggs and moved on to the bacon. She turned to Penny.

"Sheldon tells me that you are to move in soon, Penny. I think that's best. It is important for Leonard to be around someone like Sheldon or myself. And seeing as Leonard has some unresolved issues with me it would seem Sheldon is the more plausible solution."

"Actually, we haven't really discussed anything," Penny said.

"Well, I think you should definitely both stay," suggested Beverly, "So, Penny, the career in acting, is that progressing well, if at all?"

"I did a theatre production above a bowling alley," Penny said with a small ounce of pride.

Beverly looked unimpressed.

"It was remarkable," said Sheldon, "How she could remember all of those lines but she still can't remember 'no tomato' on my cheeseburger."

He let out a snort of derision. Penny got up to leave, she slammed the apartment door behind her. A moment later the slam of her own apartment door could be heard.

"She must be experiencing some menstrual tension," said Beverly.

"Wait, Sheldon. You just upset Penny. Don't you think you should go and apologise?" Leonard told him.

"Well, not really, but if you insist." Sheldon got up silently and left the apartment.

xxx

*Knock, knock, knock* "Penny." *Knock, knock, knock* "Penny." *Knock, knock, knock* "Penny."

The door swung open. Penny stood in the doorway, gripping frame. She appeared to be more angry than hurt. Sheldon wasn't able to read her behaviour.

"Penny, Leonard tells me you are upset. Why is this?"

She stared at him for a short while with her jaw clenched. She took a breath.

"Why? Why! How about we start with the fact that I'm a menial worker, Sheldon. Or that I can't cook and have no business doing so. Or that I'm so pathetic I can even make a high school head cheerleader when Leonard should be looking out for an Olympic medallist. Or maybe it's because I'm too stupid to remember 'no tomato' on your cheeseburger," Penny yelled.

Sheldon thought on this momentarily. He went to speak but Penny beat him to it.

"You like doing research so much, then why don't you research how to be a good friend! While you're there, write one of your silly little papers!"

She turned on her heel and slammed the door in his face.

Sheldon was puzzled. He'd merely been stating the truth, he hadn't interpreted his insights as a list of insults.

xxx

Leonard and Beverly returned from their day out early that evening. Beverly engaged in conversation with Sheldon while Leonard tried to give a valuable contribution. He was unsuccessful. After half an hour or so he gave up and went across the hall to see Penny. He felt guilty for abandoning her when she was sad but he'd promised to take his mother out and he couldn't afford for her to love him any less. Sheldon noticed that Leonard returned only two minutes later, it appeared he'd been unsuccessful in his conversation with Penny too.

As it approached nine-thirty, Leonard offered to drive his mother to her hotel. Beverly and Sheldon shared an expression to do with the lack of cleanliness in hotels. Sheldon also pointed out his dislike to keys shaped like credit cards. Leonard and Beverly left and so Sheldon went to his room.

Sheldon sat up in his bed unable to obtain sleep. He was unsure about the nature of Penny's outburst but he had a hunch it was due to the unkind things he had said to her.

He'd tried to ask Leonard before going to bed but he'd only given a sarcastic answer. Or at least what Sheldon assumed was sarcasm. It would seem that Penny had no intention of speaking to anyone after she left the apartment and so Leonard had been unable to comfort her. He was annoyed. Sheldon suspected it was due to the inability to fulfil his need for coitus, an urge that troubles him significantly when his mother comes to stay.

Sheldon pondered on what Penny had told him. 'Write a paper' she had said, to do with being a good friend. The idea came to Sheldon to list all of the good qualities he has that make Penny's life better.

He left his bedroom and went to the living room. He poured himself a glass of 2% milk and sat at his laptop. He began to type out the list which he addressed to Penny. As he was typing, the list took a slightly different turn.

xxx

When Penny woke the next morning she was still annoyed. She was also embarrassed. She didn't want to face Beverly after storming off like a teenager the morning before. She'd also have to deal with Leonard blaming himself for the whole situation and begging her not to leave him. Bless him.

She got out of bed and pulled on her robe. She picked up the empty wine bottle that had been her company last night. In her defence, it had only been half full. She didn't feel like eating breakfast and so she poured herself a large cup of coffee.

It was when she slumped down onto the couch she noticed that an envelope had been pushed under her door. She put down her coffee cup and picked up the letter. She recognised Sheldon's immaculate lettering on the envelope; 'Penny.'

Inside was a typed letter, of course, Sheldon is too technologically advanced to handwrite a letter.

Penny began to read.

_Dear Penny,_

_I'm writing to apologise, I believe I may have upset you yesterday if your irrational outburst of sub-psychotic rage is anything to go by. _

_But nonetheless, you gave me an assignment and I've never been late on handing in homework. I'm not going to waste my precious hours researching friendship, I've previously designed and perfected an algorithm used to make friends, if you wish to read the paper I wrote on that then I'll send you a PDF. For now, this letter should explain how I perceive the relationship that we share. _

_The relationship we have is one based on giving. For example, I've brought a lot of things into your life. _

_I rescued you that day when you put your car key in your apartment lock and you were locked outside. Not forgetting I also introduced you to online gaming that same day and got you out of many virtual catastrophes. _

_I have shared in your secrets regarding your academic record and position within your relationship with Leonard. This means that I have provided you with somebody to trust, a confidante, if you will. _

_I also rescued you that day you slipped in the shower and dislocated your shoulder. I drove you to the hospital at the expense of a fine, three points on a license I do not yet have and I had to spend an afternoon in jail. Not to mention I missed Stan Lee's signing at the comic-book store. I also sang Soft Kitty to you._

_Most importantly, I have provided you with a friend who is not only intellectually superior to perhaps anyone you'll ever meet, but a friend who is playful and witty. Plus, I provide you with an encyclopaedia of facts on almost every academic branch. Who needs Google, right?_

_Based on these findings, it is clear that my understanding of friendship is by no means flawed as I have proved my ability to partake in friendship on numerous occasions._

_I am, of course, a scientist so I must consider both sides to this investigation. In comparison, let's recall what you have brought to the friendship._

_Well, just the other day you dragged me to see that psychic fraud. Though I will admit that it was interesting to see how she tried to sell her false ideas._

_You made me dress in a ridiculously dull suit to give the acceptance speech for my award. I did get a few compliments though, so maybe I'll let that one slip. _

_You got in the way when Leonard had the opportunity to visit Switzerland to see the CERN Hadron Collider with me as his guest. But you took care of me when I got sick. You always bring me soup when I'm sick. And you sing Soft Kitty to me. You rubbed Vapo-Rub on my chest when I had the flu and gave me a place to sleep when I was locked out and the time when I had a nightmare._

_You beat up a bully for me and got my World of Warcraft items back that he'd stolen, you also made it possible for me to meet Stan Lee. _

_You make me spaghetti with the little cut up hot dogs, and you bring me my barbeque bacon cheeseburger at the Cheesecake Factory. _

_You give me acting lessons for when I have to give a lecture, and you drive me to where I need to go. You rescued me from the comic book store when you and Leonard had a fight. You cut my hair when my barber was sick and you teach me about social conventions; such as to buy someone a gift that they wouldn't buy for themselves. _

_Best of all you gave me a gift which possessed the DNA of Leonard Nimoy. _

_In conclusion it seems I have overlooked some of the wonderful things you've done for me, Penny. But let's not forget how you exasperate me. You touch my food, you sit in my spot, and you kissed me on the nose when you pinned me in that wrestling match. Your grammar is terrible, you forward e-mail humour to me, and you always disrupt my schedule._

_To sum up, Penny, you are my friend. A friend I can trust and on whom I can rely. After careful analysis it is clear that I'm in your debt and I can't be in your debt because one day you might ask me to kill a man. To compensate please accept the enclosed Cooper Coupon for one of my rare Sheldon Cooper hugs. _

_I apologise, Penny, for not being a better friend to you, but quite frankly I'm dealing with science on a universal scale which is much more important. _

_I will try to be a better friend to you. I'm sorry I made you cry. Please claim your coupon before the expiry date shown on the reverse side._

_Your best friend,_

_Sheldon Lee Cooper, ph.D. _

Penny fished in the envelope and pulled out the single Cooper Coupon and she smiled to herself.

The letter was, in places, somewhat insulting and she'd get Sheldon back for that later. But the truth in it was that Sheldon had acknowledged all the things Penny did for him out of love, care, and friendship. Penny knew that Sheldon meant a lot to her too and there would be a hole in her heart if he wasn't there. He's her Whack-A-Doodle and in her own special way, she loves him.

She marches across the hall and bangs loudly on the door of 4A.

*Knock, knock, knock* "Sheldon!" *Knock, knock, knock* "Sheldon!" *Knock, knock, knock* "Sheldon!"

She yells his name in false anger. He answers the door timidly. Penny's face breaks into a beaming smile. She hold up her Cooper Coupon.

"Redeeming!" she exclaims in a way she has seem Amy do it before. Before Sheldon can say anything she throws her arms around his shoulders and hugs him tightly. He stands firm with his arms by his sides. "Sheldon, I'm not letting go until I get my hug. A proper one!" Penny sings.

Cautiously he wraps his arms around her back and then freezes in position until it's over. Penny nestles into his shoulder and smells his scent. She's never noticed it before. A mixture of man and fresh linen. She sighed and held him close a moment longer before leaning up to kiss his cheek. "Thank you," she whispered in his ear and with one final squeeze she let him go.

When she left, he smiled to himself. He was proud of his progress in their relationship and he must have said something right in his letter to Penny, ergo, his assignment was a success. Well, of course, he wrote it. Additionally, he noticed that Penny had switched back to green apple shampoo which was much more appealing to his sense of smell than coconut. She smelled nice. Sheldon smiled.


	3. Anniversary Celebration

**Hello again :) Here's chapter 3; my favourite so far! As always, feedback is very welcome, I aim to grow as a writer! :) I'd also like to put it out there that I wrote the character of Mrs. Wolowitz as I think she is generally portrayed in the show and don't mean any disrespect to the late Carol Ann Susi who did a fantastic job portraying her. **

The usual seven friends were eating Thai food in 4A. Reruns of Deep Space Nine were showing back to back and Sheldon, Howard and Raj were engrossed in it. Leonard on the other hand was talking to Penny about their new living arrangements while Amy and Bernadette discussed the childishness of their other halves in a somewhat comical tone.

"This is the fifth Star Wars episode we've watched," said Amy.

"Trek," Corrected Sheldon and, to everyone's surprise, Penny. Sheldon looked disappointed at his girlfriend's lack of knowledge on the TV series.

"Can't we turn it off now?" Bernadette asked, "We do actually have something to tell you all." She looked at Howard.

"Well, it's not big news, but we've decided to throw an anniversary party," Howard explained.

"Dude, I can't believe you've been married for two years," said Raj, Howard looked slightly offended. "Oh, just because it's gone so fast, not because you're useless with women," Raj corrected.

"Thanks," said Howard sarcastically. "Anyway, we've booked the hall at the Meadow Hotel and we're making an event of it, because we didn't really do anything last year. There'll be music, and dancing, and food. And you're all invited."

There were smiles all around the room, except for Sheldon.

"It sounds great," Leonard enthused. Penny and Amy agreed.

"If you need any help with planning, you know there ain't no party like a Koothra-party!"

Everyone laughed. Again, except Sheldon.

"Well, while we're on the subject of news," began Leonard, "Penny and I, for the near future, are going to be living here," he paused, "with Sheldon."

"Are you crazy?" Howard hissed at Penny, loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Really, it had to be done. My landlord insists on six-month long rental contracts and mine's coming to an end next week and there's no point having another six months if Leonard and I are planning on moving somewhere else. So, it makes sense to stay here for a little while." Penny put extra emphasis on the last two words of her sentence. Everyone suspected that Penny had planned that short explanation as to why she would ever opt to live with Sheldon.

"And plus, Sheldon is pretty much forcing us to stay," added Leonard.

Amy looked disappointed.

xxx

*Knock, knock, knock* "Penny." *Knock, knock, knock* "Penny." *Knock, knock, knock* "Penny."

The door swung open.

"Sheldon, hey," Penny was a little sweaty and breathless, "sorry, just moving boxes. What's up?"

"Ummm, well, I thought I could help you pack while Leonard's at work. I have my label maker."

That time of year had come again where the university forced Sheldon to take his vacation days. This year he'd chosen to spend his days pestering Penny for lifts to the comic book store, the grocery store and the dentist. Had he nowhere to go, he'd made himself comfortable in her apartment.

"Okay, sure," said Penny hesitantly. In all honesty she guessed that Sheldon's pain-in-the-ass pickiness would slow down the process, but she could use the company.

"I'm just organising my clothes in the bedroom."

Sheldon paused at the bedroom door, a look of discomfort fell across his face.

"I thought you said you were organising your clothes?" he said.

"I am. This pile is for the stuff I wear all the time," she pointed to the largest pile which took up the whole bed. "and so that's going in my suitcase-"

"Is your suitcase a TARDIS?"

Penny blinked.

"Anyway, the rest is all going in boxes so I can worry about those later after I've moved in."

"Oh, Penny," Sheldon began, "this is all wrong. In fact, I think it's best if you leave, and let me take over."

"I haven't finished sorting through my closet yet. Here, let me make some space."

Penny gathered together some of the clothes strewn about her bedroom floor and dropped them into an open box. "There." she said.

"Aren't you going to fold those?" Sheldon asked, already walking over to the box and taking out the contents one piece at a time.

"Sweetie, that really isn't necessary. You know I'm only moving across the hall."

xxx

After an hour they had settled into a steady routine. Penny continued pulling things out of her closet, she'd throw the essentials onto the bed if not she would drop them onto the floor. Meanwhile, Sheldon was scurrying around collecting the clothes on the floor and folding each piece perfectly. He was then placing the items into one of two boxes labelled; _Spring/Summer _and_ Fall_/_Winter_. He had already filled two boxes of summer clothes, while the box for winter merely contained one old Christmas jumper.

A further hour later all of the non-essential clothes were packed. There were 12 boxes in total which Penny and Sheldon piled up in the living room. Penny poured them each a glass of water and invited Sheldon to sit down. He politely resisted the urge to point out that her work uniform was hung over the chair he liked to call his 'Spot at Penny's,' and sat down.

"Are you going to come to Howard and Bernadette's party?" Penny asked, knowing full well that Sheldon had probably come up with an unconvincing excuse already.

"Not by choice. I asked Leonard and he said that Laundry Night is not an acceptable excuse not to go to a friend's party. I'm still thinking of a better one. "

"Why don't you just decide to come, and then you don't have to worry about an excuse?" Penny suggested.

"Because I'd sooner worry about an excuse than worry about a party. Excessive noise blaring from the sound system, alcohol and the drunken morons, being forced to socialise with the intellectually inferior- although for me that is a regular occurrence."

"I think you should come, and you and Amy can make it a date-"

"Penny, we already have a schedule for date night. I can't just announce another date night. Nor do I have any desire to."

"You could, and if you did it might make Amy feel better about not living with you," Penny said. She felt a twinge of guilt. She knew she _should_ be the side of her girlfriend, almost pushing Sheldon to live with her, and she knew Amy was so right for Sheldon. But a part of Penny felt she needed to defend Sheldon, keep him safe from a steps she knew he wasn't ready for.

"Interesting." Sheldon pondered the idea. "If it meant Amy would be less moody then I suppose that would be better. And if I did ask her on a date then she would be in my debt and she'd have to let me watch as many episodes of Star Trek as I wanted."

xxx

Amy was, of course, ecstatic that Sheldon had asked her to the party. She was around at Penny's place getting ready so that Leonard and Sheldon could pick them up together.

Luckily enough, Penny had kept a decent selection of going-out dresses in her essential suitcase of clothes and was able to pull out a gorgeous aqua-blue number that hung low and clung to her body in all the right places. She had straightened her hair and finished off the look with a sparkling yellow Penny Blossom.

Amy opted for satin pink. Since being Bernadette's maid of honour she never went to a formal event in anything else. Penny had helped her pick out a below-the-knee dress in the same material and almost the exact same shade of pink that the maid of honour's dress had been. This one had spaghetti straps and nipped in at the waist. Amy had pushed to wear the little jacket over the top but Penny insisted that she show some skin. Penny curled Amy's hair in attempt to make her look different on this special night, she also lent Amy a lipstick that matched the colour of her dress.

They sat sipping wine while their finger nails dried.

"Are you excited about moving in tomorrow?" Amy asked her friend.

"Not really," Penny admitted. "To be honest, I've no idea why Sheldon would let me live there. Leonard says he has a routine for everything. There's no way I'm being put of a bathroom schedule."

"I suppose it's only going to be for a little while," Amy said hopefully.

"Yeah, we've already been looking for our own place, that's if Sheldon ever lets us leave," Penny joked.

"Do you think he will let me move in? I mean, when you and Leonard definitely go, and he has no better option than with me?" Amy asked.

"Of course, otherwise he'll have to start screening for a new roommate."

There was a familiar knock at the door.

*Knock, knock, knock* "Penny and Amy." *Knock, knock, knock* "Penny and Amy." *Knock, knock, knock* "Penny and Amy."

"Can't you just knock like a normal person?" Came Leonard's voice from the other side of the door.

Penny pulled the door open, she was sure she heard a small gasp escape from Leonard when he caught sight of her. She suppressed a grin. Amy appeared behind her.

"You both look beautiful," said Leonard, though Amy expected she had nothing on the stunning woman who stood beside her.

"Sheldon, don't you think Amy looks pretty?" Asked Penny. She glared at him as a silent indication that he should complement his girlfriend.

"Amy you look- Very pleasant," said Sheldon. Penny rolled her eyes but it seemed enough for Amy who wrapped her arms around Sheldon in a strangling hug. He didn't move.

Leonard drove the four of them to the hotel and Sheldon didn't moan once about having to attend the party.

xxx

When they arrived in the hotel lobby Howard and Bernadette were greeting their guests. Mrs. Wolowitz was sat on a couch waiting for her son, devouring a cream cake and a cup of tea.

The hotel was classy with marble pillars and floors, beige and golden walls and even a water feature in the centre of the room. Mrs. Wolowitz sure looked out of place in a floral maxi dress which hugged her curves in all the wrong places. Penny imagined most of the guests were thankful that Howard's mother had pulled on a cardigan.

Howard seemed nervous when greeting members of Bernadette's family, some of which he hadn't met except at their wedding. Bernadette on the other hand was charming and wore a big smile to greet every single person that attended. She hugged Penny and complimented her on her dress, though Bernadette had thought it was a bit too short for a formal occasion. Howard made a seedy comment, even with his wife stood less than twelve inches away.

"Sheldon, you look great," Bernadette said with an adoring smile.

"He does, doesn't he?" said Penny who also smiled at Sheldon.

He was wearing the suit that Penny helped pick out for his award acceptance speech.

"Well, hopefully he'll keep it on for the duration of the night. I don't think Youtube really needs to see your ass again," joked Leonard. Everyone giggled, except Sheldon.

Raj arrived. The five of them left Bernadette and Howard to continue greeting guests and made their way to the back hall. The room alone was beautiful and hadn't needed much decorating. Round tables of eight bordered the room, each one had a small bunch of gold and silver balloons atop it. There was a covered buffet at one end of the room, the bar was opposite, and a live band was playing an acoustic set.

There were around four dozen people there already and judging by the number of seats available they were still waiting on another few dozen.

"Should we dance?" Penny suggested, noticing that everyone was either at the bar or sat down at a table. She had never been afraid to be the first on the dance floor.

"Sure, I'll dance with you," said Leonard.

"Sheldon?" Amy asked, holding out her hand.

"I don't dance," he told her, "in an infinite number of parallel universes, none of the Sheldon Coopers dance." Amy looked disappointed and Penny scowled at Sheldon's selfishness.

"Raj dance with Amy," Penny instructed. They both seemed happy and comfortable with the arrangement. Sheldon took his seat on their table. It would appear that Howard and Bernadette would be sitting with them and not their family members. Anyone else would have been touched by this friendly sentiment, but Sheldon was oblivious.

In the end, Penny, Leonard, Raj, and Amy ended up dancing all together in a group until Howard and Bernadette arrived. The band played a touching instrument to _How Do I Live_. They welcomed the happy couple onto the dance floor and then couples paired up, including Raj and Amy, to slow-dance around them.

xxx

Penny and Sheldon were waiting for their hosts to uncover the buffet. Sheldon insisted that they be the first in line so that nobody else had a chance to touch the food. Penny had been the only person to take pity on his compulsion and agreed to wait with him. Sheldon timed it almost perfectly, they only had to wait two minutes before the buffet was opened. Very quickly a line of hungry guests formed behind them. Penny filled her plate with a bit of everything, no doubt more than she would manage to eat while Sheldon took what he deemed to be the perfect amount of the right cuisine to satisfy his dietary needs.

Their table was empty when they took their seats to eat. Sheldon pointed out to Penny that their friends would have to wait at least eight minutes in line before returning to the table. It always made Penny smile when she could see Sheldon's mind working away, doing the math like a human calculator. She wondered how he found space in his brain for it all.

"How are you holding out? Missing the laundry room yet?" Penny asked with a tone of sarcasm.

"Yes," Sheldon answered honestly. "Quite frankly, this is a waste of time. Though I must admit this quiche is delicious."

"See, things are looking up. I'm just going to get a drink," Penny stood to go to the bar. In his head Sheldon counted that this would be Penny's fifth alcoholic beverage. Based on past analysis, this would be the one that made her girlish giggles and drunken tales begin tumbling from her mouth.

Penny returned from the bar before her friends returned with their food.

"Are you planning on becoming intoxicated tonight?" Sheldon asked, "I don't need to remind you that your headaches associated with a hangover are, as you put it, a real bitch. Don't forget you're moving tomorrow."

Right on cue, Penny's first drunken story came out.

"Sheldon, I'm fine," she said taking a sip of her Tequila Sunrise, "there was one night were I had so many drinks my friend and I got thrown out of a club for trying to make out with the door men. I think they'd have been cool with it had a bunch of people not snuck in without ID. I threw up so bad that night."

"Penny, over the years I have observed some of your drinking habits and I've come up with a hypothesis. When you reach your 'limit', if you will, then the first signs of your intoxication are giggling and your urge to share tales from drunken nights past." Penny giggled. "My point exactly," said Sheldon. "Now, seeing as I'm expected to help you move in tomorrow, and I plan to make that work in the most efficient way, you can't drink anymore."

Penny giggled again.

"Sheldon, I'm fine." She finished eating with still half a plate of food left over. She looked over to the now abandoned dance floor. Her eyes lit up. "Come dance with me, Sheldon," she suggested in an excited tone.

"This again. Penny, as I've told you before, I don't dance. In an infinite numb-" Penny cut him off.

"That's not true. When I first met you, you went with the guys to that Latin dance place with all of the old ladies. And I know you enjoyed it." She wore a big grin that told Sheldon that Penny knew she was right.

"How do you know about that?" Sheldon asked.

"Leonard told me. He also told me you were listening to Latin music in your room afterwards, and one time he caught you doing the steps," Penny was beaming by this point. "So, will you dance with me, Sheldon?"

"Fine. But only because you presented a valid argument. I take no pleasure in dancing."

"That's not what I heard," Penny said quietly.

xxx

Leonard, Raj, Howard, Bernadette, and Amy returned together with their food and sat at the empty table. Romantic music was playing and Sheldon and Penny were dancing.

Amy seemed put out. She leant over to Leonard.

"Don't you worry about them? I keep saying it, they're really close," she said.

"As friends," replied Leonard, "if you're asking me do I think Penny would cheat on me with Sheldon, then I'm sorry Amy, but I'd have to say you're crazy."

"Why?" Amy asked.

"Well, it was challenge enough to get Penny to go out with me, so why would she go for Sheldon. He's nerdier than I am. Plus, we're committed and engaged now. And Sheldon's sexual tendencies lie redundant in his no-physical-contact obsession. I don't think we have anything to worry about."

"Then answer me this," Amy's voice wavered a little and Leonard could hear the doubt in her voice, "if Sheldon doesn't have a thing for Penny, then why did he dance with her, but not with me?"

Leonard thought about it for a few seconds and couldn't provide a satisfactory answer. But this was Sheldon, if he was dancing with Penny he surely didn't have an ulterior motive. Such thoughts wouldn't have even crossed his mind.

"I don't like this," Amy said quietly, she got up from the table and left the hall, leaving her plateful of food untouched.

xxx

Penny closed her eyes and rested her head on Sheldon's shoulder. She had one hand held in his and the other rested around his neck. His other hand lay delicately on her waist as though he was trying not to touch her at all.

The music washed over Penny and she fell into a dream-like state. The gentle lullaby of the song, the comforting aroma of cologne that filled her nostrils and the slight light-headedness that made her relaxed and happy. They moved around in slow circles, swaying softly to the gentle sound.

Sheldon felt slightly uncomfortable with Penny's head on his shoulder, he held his head up straight to avoid the sweet scent of her green apple hair. He didn't understand why he wanted to avoid it, to him it was just another smell he enjoyed, like the smell of his Meemaw's kitchen when she baked bread. There was no logical reason for him not to enjoy the smell, the rest of his senses were actually having a great night. The music was pleasing and calming, the food was delightful and the place looked wonderful. All in all, Sheldon didn't really have a complaint about the night. He was even enjoying the dancing. He dipped his head to smell Penny's hair, he found it comforting. He rested his cheek against her head and they continued to move in circles.

On his analysis of the senses he pondered on touch. Penny's hand was rested in his and to his surprised it felt quite dainty, not the Nebraska man-hands he'd always assumed she'd had. He was surprised that his own assumption had proven inaccurate. His other hand was hovering about Penny's waist and he noticed an ache in his shoulder from keeping it elevated. He didn't like to touch anyone but since her hand was already in his and her hair was tickling his face, he saw no harm in laying his hand on the fabric of her dress.

Penny felt strangely comfortable. Sheldon really smelt good and he'd adjusted his hand placed on her hip to wrap his arm around her waist. It felt like he was pulling her into his body. She liked the feel of his warm body against her.

Her eyes snapped open. Where had that thought come from? She thought about it again. Did she really enjoy the feeling of Sheldon's body against hers? His arm wrapped around her and his head resting on hers? Sheldon had always been her friend and she'd never considered him and any sort of romantic or physical way before. This was strange. She no longer felt comfortable but she didn't want to move away from him. She took a deep breath and blamed her crazy thoughts and feelings on the alcohol. Damn, Sheldon had been right about her drinking too much.

Sheldon found it interesting that he had not been repulsed by being so close to Penny, though he made a mental note to wash his hands thoroughly once their dancing was finished. Penny had been sucking grease off her fingers after eating a chicken wing and he didn't need to be infected in whatever bacteria lived on her hands and in her mouth. Though the copious amount of alcohol she had consumed may have sterilised her mouth somewhat. Penny shuffled in his arms and so he released the hold he had around her. He hadn't realised how tightly he'd been pulling her towards him, their bodies had been pressed together so that every part of them was touching.

Penny became aware that their legs were entwined, one of her between Sheldon's and one of Sheldon's between hers. She looked down at their entanglement and it was then that she noticed Sheldon's pelvis had been pressed into her hip. That's what made her mind suddenly wander into a world of sexual curiosity. She wondered how she'd felt if Sheldon had become hard while their bodies were smashed together. She questioned why he hadn't and then remembered that he was Sheldon who didn't belong in the world of sexual urges. She imagined what his reaction would be if he had found himself in that situation. She wondered what he'd be like in bed.

She shook her head quickly as though trying to expel the thoughts. She had never let her mind wander like that and who would have thought it would be over Sheldon? She untangled herself from him and leant up to kiss his cheek.

"Thank you for dancing with me, Sweetie" she said in a tone as unfaltering as she could manage.

She walked back to the table and he followed behind her. He immediately noticed the absence of the green apple aroma and the music was far less pleasing to his ear. He identified that it was one of those situations that requires all of the elements together to be enjoyable.

"Where's Amy?" Penny asked Leonard.

"She went outside for a while," he explained, "Sheldon, you should probably go and speak to her."

"Why?" Sheldon asked, completely oblivious.

"Just go," said Leonard.

xxx

Sheldon found Amy in the lobby, sat by the water fountain. She was trailing her fingers through the glistening liquid while wearing a look of utter melancholy. She turned away when she saw him approaching.

"Amy?" Sheldon said in his usual voice, "Why are you out here?"

"I don't want to speak to you," she said, though she didn't mean it. A part of her wanted to shout at him and tell him how hurt she was.

"Okay," he said. Taking her literally he turned on his heel and headed back to the hall. Penny beat him to the door and came out into the lobby.

"Ames?" she called as she hurried over to her friend. Sheldon followed. "Leonard just told me why you're out here. You've got it all wrong." Penny couldn't help feeling slightly guilty because Amy hadn't got it entirely wrong, Penny had had those thoughts about Sheldon. But it was only in the moment and she was sure it meant nothing.

"Then ask him why he would dance with you and not with me?" Amy said. They both looked at Sheldon.

"Penny provided a very plausible argument, I can't dispute the logic," he explained.

"Sheldon, go and dance with Amy," Penny instructed.

Amy looked at Penny. She was going to bring up that Penny had feelings for Sheldon but looking at them now the notion seemed like childish doubt that she'd made up. And she wasn't going to pass on the opportunity to dance with Sheldon.

Penny slumped into a chair as Sheldon and Amy disappeared through the door. The effects of alcohol were wearing off and now she was haunted by her own almost-clear thoughts. She was jealous. She didn't want Amy to dance with Sheldon, she didn't want Sheldon to want Amy. If Sheldon was going to want anyone as more than a friend, Penny wondered why it wasn't her.

She glanced at the glittering ring on her finger and for the first time it didn't appeal to her. _Oh God, Leonard. _She had a sudden reality shock that she was engaged to be married to a man whose heart she couldn't stand to break, but she was still having thoughts about another man. And this time it was Sheldon. Sheldon! Why did she want him? Something about his innocence and naivety screamed out to her. Something about those forbidden arms holding her tonight.

xxx

Amy's dance with Sheldon was awkward, even by her standard. He placed one hand on each of her hips while she wrapped her arms around his neck. Their movements weren't fluid like the dance Sheldon had experienced earlier and there was always four of five inches between the two of them. Sheldon didn't pull Amy close nor did he smell her hair. Amy noticed and felt betrayed but this was the first time Sheldon had ever danced with her and she didn't want to sully the moment.

They only danced for one song and then Sheldon took his hands from Amy's hips. She looked into his eyes hopefully, but he was shut off. He was the usual Sheldon who has no desire to sit too close to another person let alone do anything else.

Amy was disappointed but knew when she went to bed that night her thoughts would be of the feeling of Sheldon's hands touching her hips and the way they moved together. To her it was romantic and an accomplishment as far as their relationship was concerned.

xxx

The guests started to filter out. Raj stayed behind to help Howard and Bernadette tidy up. Sheldon and Amy found Leonard outside holding Penny's hair back as she threw up into the shrubbery.

"I warned you about your intake of alcohol," came Sheldon's voice.

It wasn't the alcohol. Penny didn't feel even the smallest bit drunk. She'd been sitting in her chair by the water fountain. She'd been pondering on her guilt for having such betraying thoughts. She really cared for Leonard and he didn't deserve to have a fiancée who couldn't keep her mind on who she should.

But the guilt had vanished quickly and was replaced by the image of Sheldon dancing with her, only this time she had been watching from the side-lines. An all-too-perfect Sheldon and Penny looked at peace in each other arms. But then the Penny had morphed into an Amy and Sheldon was smelling her hair. He tucked it back behind her ear and kissed her fully on the mouth. Her hands were all over him, she ripped open his shirt and the buttons flew off like in a cheesy movie. His lips were on her neck, biting and sucking, and Penny couldn't breathe, nor could she drag her eyes from the scene before her.

Sheldon had return to Amy's mouth and Penny could see his tongue sliding in and out, wrestling with Amy's. Amy kissed back hungrily. He whispered something in her ear and Penny wanted to know what it was. What was he saying to her? His shirt was hanging off one arm and he's pulled down Amy's dress. Penny saw her stood in sexy lingerie and Sheldon's eyes gleamed with desire. Penny blinked hard and when she opened her eyes they were both naked, sprawled on the dance floor, Sheldon coming down on top of Amy over and over again.

Penny was sweating and she couldn't catch her breath. He snapped out of her thoughts and found herself still by the water fountain in the lobby. Her nails were digging in to the arms of the chair and she was hot, sweaty, and breathless, just like the Penny in the daydream. She couldn't shake the image of Sheldon having sex with Amy, wanting her, needing her. Her stomach churned and she leapt up to run outside.

That's when Leonard found her, throwing up on the nearside of the parking lot.

The four of them climbed in to Leonard's car. Penny sat in the front with the window rolled down. Her head was a hazy mess. The more she tried to make sense of it, the harder it became to understand. She tried pushing the thoughts out of her mind, she wanted to wake up tomorrow and realise it really was the drink, but the more she tried to forget, the louder the images came screaming back.


	4. Changes

**Hello again, thank you for still being with me, hope you are enjoying this fic so far. Here is chapter 4, this one I had to rewrite because I found Sheldon's feelings very challenging to articulate. But, I hope it's okay and as always any constructive criticism is very welcome! :) **

**I just want to point out that I've received a couple of reviews from anonymous reviewers including one saying I'm a 'delusional bitch' for writing Shenny. I understand that it isn't canon and if you don't like Shenny I'm not asking you to read my fic. I've always said I like feedback that will help me to improve my writing style, characterisation, and general storylines, but if you're going to comment saying my fic is bad just because you don't like the ship I'm not going to take your comments on board. **

**Thank you for the positive and constructive reviews, I really appreciate those. Happy reading :)**

*Knock, knock, knock* "Penny." *Knock, knock, knock* "Penny." *Knock, knock, knock* "Penny."

There was a shuffling from inside 4B. Sheldon put his hands across his throat.

"Sheldon, it's 7 o' clock!" Penny said.

"Correct," said Sheldon.

"What are you doing here?"

"It's moving day, and if we're going to stick to my schedule we can't wait until 11," he explained.

"Sheldon, all we have to do is move my stuff across the hall. Can't you come back when it's morning?"

Sheldon thought for a moment.

"Feel free to go back to bed. Frankly, it'll be an easier job if you let me do it alone."

"Fine." Penny shuffled off back to her bedroom and collapsed into a ball on the bed with her robe still on.

Penny closed her eyes but sleep never found her, and it wasn't going to with Sheldon on the other side of the wall. She could hear him packing saucepans and other kitchen utensils into a box. There really was no need, he could just carry them straight through to his kitchen. But the noise wasn't what was keeping Penny awake.

Her feelings from the previous night hadn't faded like she'd hoped. On the plus side she no longer felt sick and she didn't have a hangover. But all that told her was that her feelings were not a side effect of alcohol and that was scarier than any feelings she'd ever had for anyone. Including Leonard.

She decided to go for a hot shower to relax, she still felt sticky from her vomiting ordeal the night before. Her shower was long and for some time she just stood there allowing the hot beads off water to run over her skin. She thought more of Sheldon.

She thought of how he had smelt when they danced. She couldn't get the thought out of her head. She remembered how safe she felt in his arms, leaning against his tall frame. She told herself it was ridiculous, she couldn't want him. A part of her wasn't listening. The part that reminded her that in a way she had always cared for Sheldon. The part that told her that she had a closer bond with Sheldon than any of her other friends. _That can't be right_, Penny thought. Leonard was her fiancé, she had to be closer to him than anyone. _No._

Sheldon knew some of Penny's deepest secrets and fears. Sheldon knew about Penny's doubts in her relationship with Leonard. Sheldon knew how Penny always felt inferior to the rest of her friends and how she wished she could be as smart as they are. Leonard was a great guy, he was always going to love Penny for her many wonderful qualities but Sheldon was different. _Better_, Penny thought. Leonard hid from Penny's worst qualities, and pretended they didn't exist. And now she thought about it, Penny found it a little insulting. Sheldon called her out on her flaws, not really accepting them, but appreciating them and how they made her Penny.

Penny sat on the floor of her bathtub, her head in her hands. The hot water rolled against her back. She'd ask how she had gotten into this mess but she already knew. A combination of always feeling a twinge of uncertainty about agreeing to marry Leonard. Of trying to do the right thing and hoping it would bring her happiness. Of having a best friend like Sheldon; someone who could challenge her, but care for her all at once. And of course, when said friend is so out-of-character that he forgets his phobia of touching and intimacy and holds her tightly in his arms, rests against her head and dances in slow romantic circles. What did she expect? She was going to fall for him eventually. She couldn't believe how blind she had been.

Xxx

Sheldon stood at the kitchen counter, leaning on his elbows and looking towards Penny's closed bedroom door. His mind was suffering a strange conflict. It was unusual for him to be distracted by ordinary human emotions, but he could help himself today. Dancing with Penny the previous night had been a pleasing experience for him and for a moment he had considered the possibility that someone had spiked his drink. He realised, however, that this was not the case because he _had_ felt uncomfortable dancing with Amy. He had become a little short of breath and sweaty and could feel a twitch around his eye as Amy had looked upon him with obvious desire which he couldn't fully understand.

That's when it occurred to him. Sheldon had frequently become nervous to the point of panic attack when the 'S' word was mentioned. Though he hadn't ruled out someday having a physical relationship, it wasn't something he was ready for yet. He was made uncomfortable by the possibly of what Amy might want from him and what he knew Penny never would. Penny made him feel safe.

Xxx

Penny dressed quickly into her Hello Kitty shorts and a vest-top. She tied her hair into a bun while it was still wet and didn't bother with any make-up. She decided to pack the final contents of her bedroom before going out to help Sheldon.

Sadly, it only took her twenty minutes and she still hadn't straightened out her thoughts. She picked up a box of bathroom products and tucked it under her arm. Using her free hand she wheeled her suitcase out of the bedroom. Sheldon wasn't there.

He'd completely emptied her kitchenette and was now back in his apartment creating a 'Penny cupboard' to ensure he didn't use something of hers which he expected wouldn't meet his hygiene standards.

Penny walked over to 4A with her suitcase and box.

"Penny, which shelf do you prefer?" Sheldon asked.

Penny noticed immediately that he was just normal Sheldon. Like he hadn't noticed anything last night, like he hadn't felt anything when they danced. She'd expected an awkward conversation but it appeared she was worried about nothing. She was strangely disappointed.

"What?" Penny asked. Sheldon was stood by the refrigerator holding the door open.

"Which shelf do you prefer?" he repeated, gesturing towards the fridge. "In the refrigerator- I have the top shelf and I thought I'd give you second choice over Leonard seeing as he isn't here."

"Umm- Stick me in the middle," Penny said, realising the bitter irony in what she had said. "What can I do to help?"

"Well, I've cleared a cupboard under the counter for you so you can fill that with your kitchen utensils, pots, pans etcetera while I reorganise the things I share with Leonard so that everything fits into an orderly schematic."

Penny nodded. She headed over to the boxes of her kitchen things and began to empty them. She tried to fill the cupboard neatly so that Sheldon wouldn't stop her and do it himself.

Xxx

There was a silence in the apartment that Penny couldn't tolerate any longer. Sheldon hadn't seemed bothered by it, he probably didn't register that it provided an awkward atmosphere.

"So, Sheldon, did you have a good time last night?" Penny asked, keeping her voice happy but ordinary.

"No," he lied, "the loud music, the dancing, the alcohol, the food that sits out before it's served-" he invented complaints because he knew it was unlike him to enjoy music and dancing with others and he did like the food and nothing bad had happened after he had eaten it.

"Oh," Penny tried not to sound disappointed, "I thought it was okay."

"You threw up in the bushes. I would not think that made an okay evening," Sheldon said.

"Howard and Bernadette seemed happy," she tried.

"Yes, they did," Sheldon agreed.

"They make a cute couple, don't you think?"

"I suppose-"

Penny paused before speaking again. She wanted to keep Sheldon from getting suspicious.

"What about you and Amy?" she asked, not sure what she wanted to hear.

"What about us?"

"Did you enjoy spending the night with her, it was a date after all? How about that dance at the end?"

"It wasn't really my idea of fun. But you instructed me to do it. When you or Leonard tell me to do something, I've come to accept that it's a non-negotiable social convention."

"Amy texted me, she said she really enjoyed it," Penny said, trying to forget that she was the reason Amy ended up in Sheldon's arms last night.

"Well, of course she would, I'm a delight," was Sheldon's response.

Sheldon sighed.

Everything okay, Sweetie?" Penny asked moving to sit on the couch, Sheldon put down a mug and joined her.

"I'm not sure," Sheldon said. "Penny, you're knowing in the world of relationships. Is it considered normal not to enjoy a seemingly romantic evening with one's girlfriend?"

Penny thought about Leonard. He could be very romantic and it wasn't that Penny didn't appreciate his efforts, she just wasn't the flowers and chocolates type of woman. She realised that more often than not she found herself wanting out of romantic evenings with her future husband.

"I guess," Penny said. "I'm not really a romantic so I don't enjoy over-the-top, lovey-dovey situations anyway," she admitted.

"Interesting," Sheldon said, his confusion not quite resolved. "Did you enjoy spending the party with Leonard?"

Penny thought a moment. She had danced with Leonard for the majority of the evening, alongside Amy and Raj, but all she'd focused on since was a few minutes with Sheldon. She hadn't enjoyed dancing with Leonard, not like she did being in Sheldon's arms.

"Why do you ask?"

"Well, if I'm entirely honest, it didn't have a particularly pleasant time dancing with Amy," said Sheldon.

"Oh-" said Penny, a spark of selfish excitement running through her veins. "Why not?"

"Penny, you understand that I care for Amy, but whenever I'm around her I'm never quite settled," Sheldon tried to explain. The confused look Penny wore caused him to go on. "There is always this pressure that she's going to want more from me. Something I'm not ready for." Penny nodded and Sheldon went on. "When you and I danced, for example, you made me feel safe and comfortable because you are Penny and you don't expect anything of me. I can always just be myself around you."

Penny smiled, a mix of happiness and sadness filled her. Happy that Sheldon trusted her above all others and clearly valued their friendship. Sad that it was nothing more. Penny felt guilty that secretly she did want more from him, something she could never expect him to give her.

"I'm glad you see me that way, Sheldon," she told him. It wasn't a complete lie. "I think it's important to have someone in your life who you can be totally yourself around and they won't judge you. And I love that you're in my life too." She took has hand and smiled.

Sheldon looked down at their entwined fingers and smiled too.

"This is fine," he pointed out, "this doesn't make me uncomfortable, but with someone else I expect it would."

"One of the few miracles that Doctor Sheldon Cooper can't explain," Penny teased. Sheldon pouted.

xxx

Leonard returned home from work at five. He dropped his key in the bowl by the door and fell onto the couch. Sheldon was in his Spot watching Star Trek and Penny sat back in the armchair, bored.

"I'm never helping Wolowitz with his work ever again!" he complained.

"What did he make you do?" Penny asked.

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Nothing! He made me sit and watch him do everything in the Mars Rover control room to stop him if he made a mistake."

"Wow, that sucks," said Penny.

"How did the moving in go?" Leonard asked.

"Oh, fine," said Penny.

After sitting in her apartment for an hour of thinking about Sheldon and Amy, Penny had to drive into town to drop off her key to the landlord. Her mind was a blur with everything that was going on. Was Sheldon unhappy with Amy? Would they break up? Would Leonard find out about her feelings for Sheldon? Would Sheldon find out? Would Amy? What would happen? Penny felt sick thinking about all the destruction her betraying heart could cause.

Penny made the decision that she needed some time out and as she drove home she made the choice to go and stay with her parent for a few weeks in Nebraska. She would tell Leonard when he got home from work and he'd take it personally of course, and blame himself. It was just something she'd have to get through. She didn't trust herself to stay away from Sheldon and she wasn't going to break up a group of friends.

"I've actually got something to tell you, Leonard," Penny began.

"Okay," Leonard replied. "Sheldon, can you give us some privacy?" Sheldon made to stand.

"No, that's fine," Penny said, "he should hear this too." Sheldon sat back down.

Penny sighed.

"I've been having a hard time lately and I can't even begin to explain what's going on in my head. But I think I need some time out so I'm going back to Nebraska for a while."

Leonard looked puzzled and hurt. He made to say something but Sheldon got their first.

"You're leaving?" he asked, shocked and a little bit sad. "You can't!"

"Sweetie, I-"

"We aren't even going to discuss this?" Leonard asked, a mixture of anger and upset in his voice. "You just moved in. Aren't you going to explain to me what's wrong? As your fiancé don't I have a right to know what's so difficult that we can't get through it together?"

"Leonard, I- I can't really explain because I don't know myself. I need to take some time to figure it out and I can't do that here."

"Why not?"

"I just can't," Penny said quietly, ashamed.

"Penny," Sheldon said, "Don't leave."

"I'm sorry, Sweetie." Penny wanted to tell Sheldon if he knew why she had to leave he'd understand, but she wasn't sure that he would.

Xxx

Penny stood out on the street waiting for her cab. She had left immediately after Leonard had excused himself to the bedroom. Sure he had been crying, Penny was going to follow him, he didn't deserve this. But she knew he'd convince her to stay and she needed space right now.

She wheeled her suitcase, still packed, from the living room and dragged it down the flights of stairs. She locked eyes with an unknowing Sheldon before she closed the door and felt as though her silly heart was breaking.

She arrived at the airport two hours early but the time seemed to fly by. She was so frustrated that she couldn't shake the thought of Sheldon. It was stupid. There was so much more going on in her life, a wonderful fiancé and amazing friends. She should be more grateful but it felt like nothing in the world mattered right now.

Xxx

Two weeks had passed since Penny left for Nebraska and Leonard, encouraged by his friends Howard and Raj, was optimistic that she would call any day now. Sheldon thought Leonard was being naïve. There had been no word from Penny since she left and Sheldon was starting to worry if she'd come back at all.

"Is everything okay, Sheldon?" Amy asked upon noticing her boyfriend's sullen expression.

"Huh?" Sheldon's head snapped up and he was torn from his thoughts. "Oh, I'm fine," he lied.

"Are you sure?" Amy asked, "You haven't seemed yourself all evening."

"Well, if you must know, I'm missing Penny," Sheldon confessed. Leonard looked up at the sound of his fiancée's name.

"What are you talking about?" Leonard asked, "You always complain about Penny."

"That's not true," Sheldon argued, "Admittedly Penny can infuriate me at times but she is one of my closest friends. I'm not so oblivious to notice that there is a gap in our social group with her absence. And you know I don't like change."

Sheldon excused himself to go to the bathroom. He closed the door and breathed a heavy sigh before splashing cold water on his face. He hadn't felt this way since his parent's had sent him away to boarding school, and even then it was his Meemaw he had missed the most. She had kept in touch by post though, and Sheldon was always comforted knowing that he would see her soon enough. But there was no sign that Penny could be coming home and Sheldon didn't like that.

He'd tried to reason that his mind was just annoyed that his worrying for Penny was interfering with his work and her absence was causing an uncomfortable void in their social group. Changes that both inconvenienced him. But deep down he knew a part of him was just missing Penny's humorous conversation and sweet spirit that brought a sense of happiness into his life in a way nobody else could. He needed to remedy the problem.

He took out his cell and dialled Penny's number. Like the dozens of times before, the call was rejected after the first ring. It was as though Penny was on the other end waiting for a call she could immediately refuse to take.

Sheldon felt a kind of abandonment. Penny had always been there to talk when he needed and to help in when it came to experiences in the real world. Without her there he felt alone and vulnerable. She was his guardian and she was gone.

He sat on the bathroom floor beside the tub and hugged his knees to his chest.

"Please come home, Penny," he mumbled to himself.

Xxx

There was the sound of keys in the lock. Leonard looked up fastest, followed by Amy, Bernadette, Raj then Howard. They all knew who it must have been.

Leonard stood quickly to greet her and the sound of the bathroom door clicked behind him. Sheldon rushed out into the living room and hugged Penny as she stepped over the threshold.

Penny giggled.

"Hey, Sweetie," she said hugging Sheldon back gently. He smiled at her before moving to sit in his Spot in a timid manner.

"Penny, you look great," Bernadette said, noticing a warm glow about Penny.

"That break really did you some good, are you okay?" Amy spoke next.

"I'm great," Penny said with a smile. "Leonard-" she said, turning to her fiancé who was still stood in the same spot, unspeaking. "Are you okay?"

Leonard nodded. "Come and sit down, let me take your bag to our room," he offered. Penny sat in the armchair that Leonard offered and he disappeared momentarily down the hallway.

"We should probably give you and Leonard some space," Howard told Penny, knowing that Leonard had waited to have this conversation with Penny. "We'll leave you to it." Everyone else nodded and got to their feet.

"It's good to have you back, Penny," Amy said. "Sheldon are you coming?"

"No," Sheldon replied. "I'll go to my room."

They said their goodbyes, Amy kissing Sheldon's cheek; he winced, and left the apartment. Penny was left alone with Sheldon. To her surprise he took her hand in both of his, "I'm glad you're okay, Penny. And I'm glad you're home. I missed you." He smiled and let her hand go. He stood to leave the room.

"Sheldon," Penny said. Sheldon stopped and turned around. "I missed you too."

Xxx

For the next hour or so Penny told Leonard about Nebraska and her shopping trips with her mom. They eventually got onto the topic of her impromptu departure. She explained to Leonard how the engagement had suddenly scared her, being very careful of the words she chose. She assured him that it was just a shock and that she was fine now. Leonard accepted her explanation and confessed his own unease about getting married; that Penny might not like marriage and that it might not live up to her expectations. That he might not be able to provide the perfect life for her. Penny was honestly touched by the sentiment.

Penny hadn't been honest with Leonard. On her flight back from Omaha she's concluded that her trip away had clarified what she had suspected all along. She had feelings for Sheldon. But Sheldon was like a deer in headlights when it came to this sort of thing and Penny wanted to keep him protected. She wouldn't tell him the truth. She would go on as normal, do the right thing and marry Leonard. Everyone would be happy and everyone would stay friends.

They settled down in the living room to watch some TV and unwind after a stressful two weeks. Sheldon appeared from his bedroom and sat at his desk.

"So what do you say to dinner and then we get and early night, christen the bed," suggested Leonard.

Penny glanced over the far side of the room. Her bed and mattress were propped up against the wall, her sofa was over there too just as they had been the day she had left. Penny wasn't in the mood, and a part of her wished she still had her own apartment to escape to.

"Leonard, we've already christened the bed," she said.

"No, we've christened MY bed, but not OUR bed." Penny was annoyed that he wasn't hearing her.

"For God's sake, Leonard, it's the same bed!" Penny yelled more harshly than she'd intended. She wasn't sure where her unease came from, but she suspected that it was the part of her that held a grudge towards Leonard's lacking bedroom skills. She didn't feel up to faking it tonight.

xxx

"I'm ordering pizza online, do you want anything?" Sheldon offered.

"No thanks, Penny and I are going to go out," said Leonard.

"Actually," interrupted Penny, "I wouldn't mind having pizza, I don't really feel up to going out. I'm tired from the move."

Leonard looked disappointed but he knew it would be better for him if he agreed with Penny.

"I'll get a cheese-free pepperoni," he said.

"Barbeque chicken," said Penny.

Sheldon nodded and confirmed the order. The pizza arrived quickly and Sheldon tipped the delivery guy.

When he handed Penny her pizza box their hands brushed together, he felt the electricity of the touch tingle up his arm. It sent a shiver up his spine. It was unusual. He looked at Penny to see if she'd felt it too, she was already looking right back at him. Their eyes connected.

Sheldon broke their gaze and sat in his spot with Penny beside him, she began munching on a slice of pizza. Sheldon felt the same strangeness as Penny's bare thigh grazed his own clothed leg as he sat down. She was sitting very close to him. Why did he want to reach out to her?

He thought back to the night of the party, it seemed so long ago now. All he could focus on was the smell of her green apple hair. The memory was so powerful he could smell it even now.

_Curious_, Sheldon thought. He wriggled in his Spot before taking his pizza box from the coffee table.

"Baby wipe," he offered to Penny whose fingers were sticky with cheese and sauce.

She took one without a word.

Something clicked. Sheldon's scientific brain had figured it out. It was like he'd spotted the error in an equation and now suddenly all of the math fell into place. It all made sense. The smell of her green apple hair, the way he could hug her and hold her hand, the way he trusted her and the way he had missed her. The way she sings to him when he's sick and the way he listens to her problems. It was like they fit perfectly together, so naturally. How could he have been so blind?

Xxx

It bothered him greatly. He sat up in bed and wondered if he was attracted to Penny. He thought about the time he saw her naked and how he hadn't felt any sort of desire for her. At the time his main concern was the practicality of getting her to the emergency room. He couldn't recall a single time until tonight where such feelings had come over him.

He remembered the night of the party. He thought of Penny's body against his, the smell of her green apple hair on his face. He thought of her head resting on his shoulder and the way she'd wriggled closer to him when he'd held his arm around her. It confounded him that he hadn't realised until now. He wanted her.

Admittedly, he didn't let his hormones get the better of him but he'd never let his mind wander to thoughts of his blonde neighbour; now roommate. He'd been so adamant on avoiding Amy's advances that he'd assumed he wasn't a sexual being. He'd suppressed those feelings. But now he was aroused and this was a strange and unfamiliar feeling. He'd only experienced arousal a few times in his life.

His hand moved to his erection. There was no way he could think clearly, logically, when his biological chemicals were letting him down to this unusual extent. He thought about Penny and how they danced that night, he thought about the time he touched her breast- he stopped moving his hand and let go.

The warmth drained from his body and he was overwhelmed with a feeling of disgust. From the next room he could hear Leonard's loud moans. It seemed Penny was in the mood after all. Sheldon jumped up from the bed and pulled on his noise-cancelling headphones. They weren't effective enough.

xxx

Penny had felt bad for ruining their night; Leonard hadn't deserved her outburst. She decided they would have sex after all, it was the least she could do.

It was a night of the usual sloppy kisses on her lips and neck and Leonard trying to pleasure her in ways he thought were a turn on. It did nothing for her. At one point the fingers being forced in and out of her were nothing but painful. As routine would have it, when Penny was bored and was sure enough time had passed, he climbed on top of Leonard and rode him until he climaxed.

For the first time ever though, Sheldon's face popped into Penny's mind. She closed her eyes and selfishly focused on the image. He was whispering her voice in aroused desperation. He wanted her. She envisioned herself kissing him, their tongues twirling. She imagined him pressing his erection into her thigh before manoeuvring to slip inside her. She saw herself, felt herself riding him, she heard his lustful moans and she felt him explode inside her.

Her eyes flashed open in a wild and very real orgasm which sent Leonard into a gasping spiral of lust as he too climaxed. Penny couldn't believe what had happened. She'd orgasmed from sex with Leonard! While thinking about Sheldon!

xxx

Sheldon slammed his hands over the noise-cancelling headphones covering his ears but he couldn't block out Penny's moan. He'd never heard her sound that passionate. He assumed it's because usually he wouldn't have given it much thought. He hated that she felt that way for Leonard, that he could make her feel so wonderful.

He threw off the headphones and changed back into his clothes. He didn't care to fold his pyjamas.

He left the apartment silently, ran down the stairs and out into the cold air. He needed to breathe.

As he was walking he thought more about Penny. He thought of how in that moment back in bed he'd wanted her. He thought of how much he envied Leonard for having her. He thought about how much he cared for Penny, how much she meant to him. He wondered if he loved her.

Sheldon struggled to fight back frustrating tears. He wanted to tell Penny, but he couldn't. She was _his_ Penny and he couldn't ruin that. And he wasn't ready for the sort of relationship Penny was accustomed to. It was madness. It didn't make sense. They equation didn't balance. Sheldon's universe seemed out of sorts.

He walked cautiously through the cool night, away from a world that no longer made sense.


	5. Casualty

**Here is Chapter 5! Just in case anyone was interested I was listening to The xx - Angles when I wrote what for now I'll describe as the 'sadder' scenes in this chapter. I don't know if it adds anything to the atmosphere of the piece but I thought I'd put that out there. Happy reading :)**

At 3 o' clock that morning there was a thundering knock on the door to 4A. Penny crawled out of bed to greet the unwelcome night time visitor while Leonard lay undisturbed in their bed. She crept past Sheldon's bedroom door and into the living room. She opened the door cautiously and in swooped Amy Ferrah Fowler in floods of tears. She threw herself into her best friend's arms.

"Amy, what is, what's wrong?!" Penny asked, shocked.

"Sheldon-" Amy spluttered, "He- he-"

"Oh God, What's he done?" Penny asked yawning widely.

"Done?! I got a phone call, he's been attacked. He's in the hospital."

"Oh God," Penny said again, realising she hadn't noticed Sheldon's absence from the apartment. "Okay, take my keys, start the car, I'll drive us to the hospital. I'll be down in ten seconds."

Amy snatched the keys from the bowl by the door and hurried out of the apartment. Meanwhile, Penny darted to the bedroom and picked up her purse.

"Leonard!? Leonard!?" Penny yelled desperately, but Leonard was in a deep sleep. "Leonard!" she yelled one final time before Leonard rolled over, eyes barely open.

"Where's the fire?" he asked in a groggy voice, feeling on his bedside table for his glasses.

"Sheldon's in hospital, I'm driving Amy there now, meet us there," Penny hurried without stopping for breath.

She took off in a flash leaving Leonard sat up in bed, processing the urgent information in his half-asleep mind. He dressed quickly before heading down to his own car.

xxx

Amy wailed the whole way to the hospital. She was frightened for Sheldon. She cried about how she couldn't live without him and spoke of him in such glowing terms. Penny couldn't help feel that her pain deep down for Sheldon was burning more than Amy's. It wasn't really fair for Penny to judge their relationship and draw parallels to an innocent high school romance- but she couldn't help it. Could Amy and Sheldon really know what love was?

Penny couldn't stop fearing for Sheldon too. He was such an important part of her life. In his own unique way he was the closest friend she had. She thought about all of the things they'd done together, mostly the ones outlined in his letter to her. She also recalled the things that Sheldon didn't mention that had mattered to her. Like the time he'd lent her money to pay for her bills and encouraged her to continue with her acting career when no one else had. And even how he tolerates the way she stumbled into his life and disrupted everything. He may be quirky, Penny realised, but he is a true testament to friendship and she loves him.

When they arrived at the hospital they were directed to Sheldon's room. He was still unconscious and wired up to lots of machines. Before going in the nurse explained that two men had attacked him in the street. There was a knife wound in his side and he'd suffered several blows to the head; most likely from being kicked by the attackers.

"He was lucky, a driver stopped and called an ambulance, we think he must have been laying there for over an hour before he was found," the nurse explained.

"My God," Penny breathed, "He was out there in the cold, and in pain. All by himself." She felt guilt turn over in her stomach. Silent tears rolled down her face. "He's going to be okay though, right?" she asked.

"I'm afraid it's too early to tell," the nurse said. "One of his kidneys was badly damaged, the surgeon says we won't know until he wakes up."

Penny swallowed hard and nodded. They went into Sheldon's room.

If Amy wasn't sobbing loudly enough as it was, she completely broke down at the sight of her boyfriend, pasty and paler than usual lying like a corpse in the hospital bed. He white skin was bruised black and purple down the right side of his face and one of his eyes was grotesquely swollen. Penny had never seen Amy so distraught, like her whole world was ending. Penny couldn't bear to watch. She couldn't comfort Amy now, she could accept Amy was hurting too. She couldn't look at Sheldon and picture him being beaten by those thugs and leaving him lying in the street. All alone.

She walked quickly from the hospital room and sat in a busy waiting room down the corridor. When she sat down she clasped a shaky hand tightly to her mouth and breathed heavily through her nose.

This couldn't be happening. He couldn't die. Why he was walking the streets in the early hours didn't matter, reason didn't matter. Penny prayed he would be alright. She'd leave him well alone, leave _them_ alone to be together if only a God she wasn't sure she believed in would keep Sheldon alive.

Silent tears flowed from her cheeks faster than the people in the hospital rushed about her in a hazy blur. She thought of the few times she'd held him in her arms, she thought of their dancing. She thought of all of those crazy feelings she'd been unable to process. She knew. Of course she knew. It would be now when it was too late that she would accept that she wanted him. That she loved him.

"Excuse me," the nurse had followed Penny out. "These are some of the belongings he had with him when he arrived. Nothing valuable really, I expect if he was carrying a wallet or phone it was stolen." She handed Penny a plastic bag containing Sheldon's things and walked away.

Penny reach in and pulled out something made from cold fabric. It was Sheldon's shirt. The pale blue fabric was stained with his dark red blood; it was still damp. Penny hugged the shirt to her face, breathing in the scent of a clean bit of the fabric; she could smell Sheldon. Her heart ached in her chest.

She reached into the bag again and pulled out Sheldon's jacket, also with blood stains. Next came his messenger bag which she flipped open and looked inside. She realised she'd never been inside Sheldon's bag before. All that was in there was an A4 notebook with lots of equations and calculations which looked completely foreign to Penny. He had a diary which Penny felt uneasy about opening. There was nothing of any secret in there; just appointments and things to remember. One of the pages had been folded at the corner. Penny flicked to it and saw Amy's name written at the top of the page, her cell phone number written below it with '_In case of emergency contact:'_ beside. Penny slammed the diary shut and put it back into Sheldon's bag with the notebook and a few other items; a small bottle of hand sanitizer, a packet of tissues and several pens and pencils.

Penny's whole body was trembling as she sat, entirely helpless, hugging Sheldon's damp t-shirt and crying silent tears.

Xxx

"Penny," gasped Leonard as he ran down the corridor towards her, "Where is he?"

Wiping away her tears with a shaky hand, Penny got to her feet, gathered Sheldon's belongings, and led Leonard to Sheldon's room. Bernadette, Howard and Raj were already there comforting Amy.

"God," was all that Leonard could manage as he too seemed on the verge of tears.

"I know he's a pain in the ass but… I can't imagine any of our lives without him," Howard said quietly. "I wish he'd wake up and ridicule my work or something."

"I know you mean," Raj said, "It feels incomplete without Sheldon's voice in the room."

Penny's sobs became audible and joined Amy's which had turned into whimpers.

"It's gonna be okay," Leonard breathed, stroking Penny's back.

"_He's_ gonna be okay," Bernadette corrected as though Leonard was implying that they'd find a way to carry on without Sheldon. "We've got to stay positive."

"I don't think I can," muttered Amy. "I can't shake the thought of losing him," she took in a sharp breath. "I couldn't handle it, I couldn't function without him. I don't think I could get out of bed in the morning. I know he can be hard to live with, but he's the only man I've ever loved. The only person to kiss me and to hold my hand. In his own way he's the only person to make me feel special."

"I'm sorry," Penny cried before leaving the room again.

Leonard followed her out.

"I'm sorry, Leonard," she squeaked between sobs. "I just can't- We can't lose him. And I know I should be in there for Amy right now- I mean, I've got no place to feel sad, he's her boyfriend. But I just can't stop my heart from feeling like it's being torn apart. I love him."

"I know, we all love him," Leonard comforted, unaware of the meaning in Penny's words, "But Bernadette's right, we have to stay positive. For Sheldon and for Amy."

Penny tried to steady her erratic breathing.

"Come on, we should go back in there," said Leonard.

Xxx

Amy put up a good fight before being convinced by Bernadette to go home with her to get some rest. They left with Howard and Raj.

"See you tomorrow, buddy," Raj said to Sheldon with a sombre look as he let the door close softly behind him.

"We should leave too," Leonard said, pulling Penny into an embrace.

"I can't, Leonard. Someone should stay with him. You know what he's like when he's sick, he needs to be cared for."

"The nurses will do that," Leonard pointed out.

"No," Penny said pulling out of Leonard's arms. "You go, you have work in a couple of hours. I'll stay."

"I'm not going into work, not today," Leonard said.

"Then go home and get some rest. God knows Amy won't and someone needs to sit with him when I go home."

Leonard nodded, kissed Penny's still teary cheek, said goodbye to Sheldon and left.

Penny pulled up the seat by Sheldon's bed and held his cold hand in both of hers. She felt a strange roughness under her fingers. She turned his hand over to find a long gash across his palm; it had been stitched back together making it appear even more unsightly. Penny wondered if Sheldon had tried to push his attackers away. She choked on the thought of Sheldon being so defenceless with nobody to help him. He must have been terrified.

Penny glanced over her shoulder to check that they were truly alone.

"I don't know if you can hear me, but I'm going to talk anyway," she began, "Or I'm just going to sit here crying." The tears had already started falling fast again. "You better wake up, Sheldon, because everybody is worried about you. Especially Amy. God you're breaking her heart. And mine." She stopped for a deep, steadying breath.

"I wish I had just told you the truth. It would have hurt a lot of people but it would have been better than this. Why were you even walking the streets in the middle of the night?" Penny demanded, she kissed the back of Sheldon's hand, holding it against her lips and closed her eyes.

"I didn't know. I really didn't know what it all meant. I thought my mind was just playing tricks on me, or maybe it was just a silly crush. But it's only at times like this when you realise how much a person means to you; and you mean the world to me, Sheldon. God, I wish you'd wake up. Even if it's just to tell me how stupid I'm being."

Keeping her composure, voice calm she finally told his unhearing ears, "I love you, Sheldon. I want to look after you and keep you safe." She checked over her shoulder once more before standing to kiss his soft lips. It was at that touch, that touch she felt like she'd wanted forever, that she burst into tears, loud sobs. "And it kills me that I didn't keep you safe tonight."

Xxx

_Sheldon was walking along the sidewalk on North Los Robles Avenue. He felt wonderful, he walked with a spring in his step. _

_The sun was burning over the horizon, promising a beautiful sunset. He didn't know where he was going and so he walked towards the golden light. _

_The streets were deserted, Sheldon was pleased. He appreciated how peaceful it was without the usual traffic on the roads. _

_The sun was growing larger, closer on the horizon. It burned brighter and Sheldon felt the warmth on his pale skin. _

_In the far distance a figure dressed in a white gown crossed his path, an angel? He didn't know. As he approached nearer he recognised the beautiful woman who was radiant in the evening light. _

"_Penny?" he asked._

_She turned to face him, but looked at him with unknowing eyes._

"_It's me-" Sheldon told her, "Sheldon."_

_Penny looked right through him, as though she was focussed on something in the distance far behind him. _

_There was a crack of lightning across the sky behind the angel. The sun disappeared like it had been swallowed up and darkness fell and the wind howled._

"_Penny?" Sheldon urged, "Can you hear me?"_

_It was clear she could not. Sheldon hugged his jacket tightly around him. _

_Thunder rumbled loudly in the darkness. _

_Sheldon was alone._

"_Penny, please," Sheldon begged, now afraid as the darkness engulfed him._

_Penny turned and began to walk away._

"_Don't leave me here," Sheldon pleaded as heavy rain began to fall, drowning out the sound of his voice. "I love you, Penny. Don't leave me!"_

_He wanted to follow her but he was fixed to the spot; his legs wouldn't work. Tears overflowed from his terrified eyes and he hugged himself tighter._

"_Penny!" he called in one last, desperate attempt but Penny was gone. _

_His knees gave in and he fell to the floor in the pouring rain. The wind howled and the thunder roared and Sheldon was frightened and alone. "Please," he sobbed in a whisper._

Xxx

"Penny," Sheldon mumbled from his hospital bed. "Penny."

"Sheldon?" Amy replied. "Sheldon, can you hear me?"

"Pen-" Sheldon let out a cross between a sigh and a grunt and his eyes flickered open.

"Sheldon!" Amy cried.

"I'll get a nurse," said Raj.

Sheldon observed the room as the door closed behind Raj. He was alone with Amy.

"I saw Penny," he said, clearly disoriented.

"Yeah, Penny was here. But she went home to sleep," Amy told him. "How do you feel?

Raj returned quickly with a nurse.

"Mr. Cooper, how are you feeling?" she asked politely.

"Doctor," Amy correct.

"I'm sorry-" the nurse said, confused.

"Doctor Cooper," Amy told her.

"My apologies." The nurse looked embarrassed.

Xxx

Leonard was trying his best to cheer up Penny. They were sat in the living room of 4A, Penny sat in the place beside Sheldon's Spot and Leonard in the armchair.

So far Leonard had tried switching to the football on TV, suggesting they relax with a bottle of wine, going for a walk, he even offered to watch one of Penny's favourite chick-flicks but she simply wasn't interested.

"I picked up these magazines," Leonard said walking over to his desk and picking up a small pile. "I thought maybe we could start thinking about the wedding." He looked at Penny with hopeful eyes and gave her a smile.

"I can't think about that right now," Penny told him, stroking the couch cushion in Sheldon's Spot.

Leonard looked disappointed but admitted to himself that it was a bad idea to bring it up at this time. He just wanted to make Penny smile.

Penny excused herself and headed for Sheldon's bedroom. She clicked the door shut quietly and walked around the room. At first she didn't want to touch anything; to disturb the room that told so much about who Sheldon was. She hated that a part of her mind told her not to destroy the memory of him. _He will wake up!_ She insisted. Eventually, she came to sit on his bed; she hugged one of his pillowed tightly; it brought far more comfort than the blood-soaked shirt. It was soft, dry and smelled so much of Sheldon; the way he had smelt at the party. God, how Penny wished to be back in those arms. He'd held her; Sheldon had actually held her against his warmth. She swallowed hard.

After ten minutes or so she put the pillow back, unzipped her hoodie and pulled it off along with her shirt. She walked over to Sheldon's closet and took out a violet t-shirt. She pulled it on and stroked it down over her flat stomach. She gripped at the fabric like it was the only thing keeping her safe. She pulled her hoodie back on and zipped it up right to the top, completely concealing Sheldon's shirt; nobody needed to know. She stuffed her own shirt under Sheldon's pillow and climbed under his covers. She nestled in his pillow on the side she knew he always slept and sighed sadly. He'd go crazy if he knew what Penny was doing; in his bedroom of all places. She curled up into a ball in the comfort of Sheldon's bed and closed her eyes.

Xxx

Leonard was sat at his desk, absent-mindedly reading e-mails, not really taking in their content.

His cell phone buzzed in his pocket, he pulled it out and read the text message.

"Sheldon's awake," he announced. "Penny?" he called.

There was a sudden shuffling down the hall and Penny emerged; her hair dishevelled.

"He's awake," Leonard said softly.

Penny's face lit up with an honest smile.

"Well, let's go, come on." Penny was already dashing out of the door before Leonard could suggest perhaps giving Sheldon and Amy some privacy.

Xxx

Penny ran from the parking lot and didn't stop until she reached Sheldon's room, even when a nurse called after her to stop running. Leonard was struggling to keep up with her. He didn't understand what the rush was, Sheldon was apparently okay, and walking from the car would have sufficed.

"Sheldon," Penny breathed when she entered his room and saw him lying awake in the hospital bed.

"Penny," he said softly. He smiled a genuine Sheldon smile.

Leonard appeared, somewhat breathless in the doorway.

"Hey, buddy, how're you feeling?" he asked sincerely.

"I don't like hospitals but they insist I stay here," was all Sheldon responded with. Leonard thought it was obvious Sheldon was in no fit state to go home, he couldn't even sit up in bed.

Penny lingered by the far wall, all too aware that she had appeared over-anxious to see Sheldon. Now she knew he was somewhat feeling better, she came to her senses and it seemed rational thought had returned to her. Sheldon's injuries; horrific as they were, didn't seem nearly as bad now that they weren't being worn by a corpse.

"How are _you_, Amy?" Leonard asked when Penny seeming forgot to.

"I'm great," she said, smiling towards Sheldon. "He came back to me."

Penny forced a smile.

"Actually, if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to speak to Penny alone," Sheldon said. Penny looked surprised.

Leonard and Amy exchanged curious glances. Amy squeezed Sheldon's hand.

"Want me to bring you anything?" she asked him.

"No, thank you," Sheldon said politely. Amy and Leonard left the room.

Once they were alone, Penny sat in the chair beside Sheldon's bed and held his hand like she had done in the early hours. She was no longer surprised that he didn't snatch it away. She smiled at him.

"I saw you in my dreams, Penny." Sheldon told her. "But you couldn't see me or hear me. You left me alone in the dark and I was scared."

"I'd never leave you alone, Sheldon," Penny promised, clearly forgetting that in her moment of desperation she'd pledged to do just that if Sheldon made a recovery. "Why were you out walking in the middle of the night?" she asked him softly.

Sheldon hung his head like a child.

"Sweetie?" Penny pressed.

"I couldn't tolerate it- being in the apartment," he explained.

Penny looked confused.

"I could hear you," Sheldon told her, "with Leonard. I couldn't bear it, Penny."

Penny had clasped a hand to her mouth. She felt sick to discover she was the reason Sheldon had been out the night of the attack.

"I'm sorry," she mouthed, sound failing to leave her lips.

"No." Sheldon said. "I'm sorry, Penny. I should have been honest with you."

"I don't understand," she said. She reached up and brushed away a few of Sheldon's stray hairs that were sticking to a cut close to his hairline.

"No, neither did I at first. But I think I'm starting to," he said. "I've been having thoughts that are unusual for someone like me, and I've tried not to let them interfere with my everyday life but I seem powerless to stop them."

Sheldon paused. He thought about what might happen if he revealed his truth. But he'd had a close encounter with death and that had scared him, his dream of Penny vanishing from his life scared him. He _needed_ her.

"I was too afraid to tell you, Penny, for many reasons. I didn't know if I should tell you about what I've been feeling, in case I wasn't ready. I still don't know if I am. I didn't know how you'd react. I don't want to lose you from my life, you're my best friend. I've never felt like this before and so I didn't understand what was happening to me."

"Sheldon?" Penny questioned.

"Penny," Sheldon said taking a breath, "It never occurred to me that I was falling in love with you."

"Sheldon," Penny breathed. "I love _you_."

She kissed his hand and he smiled warmly at her.

"This is going to destroy everything," she told him, teary once more, referring to Leonard, to Amy and the rest of their friends.

"I know," Sheldon nodded. He spoke in a sad, quiet voice.

Penny sighed deeply.

"Penny," Sheldon said."

"Yes, Sweetie."

"Will you sing Soft Kitty to me?"


	6. Amy's Heartbreak

**Hello! Sorry for the delay! I've been out of action due to the flu and it has taken me a while to catch up with my work and get back to my writing. Here is chapter 6! With this one I'm trying to focus a little bit more on characterisation. I think it started really well but was very weak in chapters 4 and 5 so I'm trying to get some of that back. Also, some inconsistencies with season 8 in this chapter, I hope you'll forgive me :) **

Sheldon spent another two weeks in the hospital before being allowed to go home. Penny had been uncommonly optimistic the whole time he'd been in there. Visiting hours were strict now that Sheldon was on the road to a full recovery which made it difficult for Penny and Sheldon to have some time alone together. Amy and Leonard were there most of the time and Howard, Raj and Bernadette stopped by at least once every two days. It was better in the second week after the accident when Amy and Leonard went back to work. It was the first time since moving to California that Penny was thankful that she didn't have an acting job to go to.

She spent most of her mornings with Sheldon. Knowing how much Sheldon hated hospital food, Penny brought him his chosen breakfast cereal in a Tupperware container with a flask of two-percent milk every morning, and some sandwiches in a cool-bag which she hid in his bedside table for lunch. She'd pour out his breakfast and read to him from the morning newspaper whilst he ate. Sheldon didn't like to get the newspaper print on his hands and had no means of accessing the news via the internet; his cell phone and iPad had been stolen on the night of his attack after all.

Once Sheldon finished eating, Penny would slip the empty containers back into her bag and help him to the shower. She was the only person he could trust to do the job without making some sort of fuss. Leonard would moan and Amy would enjoy the opportunity far too much. Sheldon was uneasy on his feet; walking hunched over a little; his hand holding the side of his stomach where his wound was. He winced as it stretched with his movement.

Penny guided Sheldon to his adjoining wet room where he sat in a plastic chair and let Penny undress him. First, she'd unbutton his pyjama shirt, taking care to remove it slowly and gently so she didn't hurt him. She didn't like the way he frowned when she pulled the sleeve away from his right arm. Next she would slowly pull down his bottoms, he'd wiggle a little so that she could pull them from beneath him and then she'd slide them off with ease. Each day Penny would take Sheldon's pyjamas home to wash. She'd bring him a fresh pair every day; folded just the way he liked them.

Penny would wash Sheldon's hair; letting her fingers massage his head slowly before carefully tilting his head back to rinse – making sure the shampoo didn't get in his eyes. Once she'd finished she would leave him alone; he was able to wash himself with one hand – something they were both thankful for.

Penny would go out into his room; tidy his bed and plump his pillows. She'd always bring something small to entertain him and it varied each day. Sometimes a handheld gaming device; sometimes one of the science papers he had saved to the library on his computer. The day before had been a Rubik's Cube and today was an old jigsaw. Sheldon didn't mind Penny being in his room; touching his things. Though he had insisted if she was going to bring him a comic book that she wore protective gloves and transported it in a plastic sleeve. Penny would place the chosen object on top of his bedside table for when he came out of the shower.

When he was finished, he'd call her in. She'd bring one of his large, fluffy towels from home and wrap it around his hunched frame. She'd tentatively dry his face first; smiling at him as she did. He always smiled back. Then she'd rub her hands up and down his arms and chest taking extra care around where the dressings covered his wound. She'd then dry his hair and help him to stand. Finally, she'd wrap the towel around his waist; tying it in a loose knot above the dressings. For that one tiny moment she could pretend it wasn't there.

Usually, they would walk back out to Sheldon's room; he'd sit in the chair and Penny would comb his hair, even shave him every few days. Then they'd sit and talk until Penny was ushered from the room at the end of visiting hours. She'd return with Leonard and Amy in the evenings.

But today was different. When they left the wet room a nurse was waiting in Sheldon's room.

"Doctor Cooper," she addressed him, "I have some good news. You should be able to go home today."

"Thank goodness," Sheldon said; who was sick of being stuck in the hospital and had done very little to hide his complaints. "Another night in this hell would be enough to drive anyone-"

"The doctor will be here soon to give you an examination," the nurse interrupted, "and if he is happy with what he sees we will discharge you early this evening."

"If not it'll be the first examination I've ever failed; no pressure," Sheldon quipped. The nurse left.

Xxx

Sheldon was sat up in bed in a clean pair of pyjamas. He and Penny were doing the jigsaw on a table that pulled across the bed. Sheldon had sorted through the pieces very quickly and was assembling the edges. He had to admit he didn't think Penny was giving it her best effort.

"Is something bothering you, Penny?" he asked softly.

Penny sighed.

"I was just thinking," she began, "I know it sounds terrible, but I don't want you to come home just yet," she admitted.

"Oh," was all Sheldon said.

"Not like that," Penny corrected. "It's just, with you being here I've been able to come and see you and we've been ourselves. Once we return to the real world the truth is going to come out. I don't think I'm ready to hurt Leonard, or Amy for that matter."

"I don't wish to cause them any upset either, but I think it's wrong for us to lie to them," Sheldon said.

"I know," Penny said, "This has all happened so fast, I don't know what I'd even say to Leonard."

Reality had been looming on the horizon for two weeks now. As far as Leonard understood he and Penny were happily in love and due to get married. Penny was about to drop this bombshell that nobody was expecting and she was convinced it was going to tear Leonard apart. She couldn't help but think she had a much more complicated deal than Sheldon did.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Penny asked Sheldon.

"Penny, I have been over this a hundred times in my head. And quite honestly, the negatives far outweigh the positives."

Penny nodded and broke the eye-contact she had with Sheldon.

"But-" Sheldon continued, "Eventually, I could learn to live without Leonard in my life, and Amy, and everyone else. I'm not saying it won't be difficult. I've created a world where I can live in almost perfect equilibrium, I've put a lot of time and effort into it and I'd hate for that to be in vain. But I've come to believe that maybe that isn't the most important part of my life. I could have died, Penny. It became very clear to me that no amount of routine in my life could have avoided what happened that night. Even I, Sheldon Cooper, let my emotions get the better of me when I walked out of the apartment."

Tears threatened Penny but she managed to blink them back.

"If I were to lose everybody, I will be where I was eight years ago. A lonely scientist, dedicated to his work, without the many social dilemmas life offers me now. Only this time, Penny, I won't be lonely. You will be there."

Penny gave him a small smile.

"But wouldn't you prefer to have your friends there beside you? They are your life."

"I wish I could have both. I wish I could be with you and life would carry on as normal. Leonard and Amy would be fine with it and we could all be happy. But seeing as that's an unlikely outcome, I have to decide. Really, in the end, it's like asking me to choose between a handful of prestigious awards or the Nobel Prize. I'm always going to pick the Nobel."

Penny nodded and sighed.

When Sheldon got home they would tell the truth. Sheldon would break up with Amy and Penny would tell Leonard she couldn't marry him. And then it would all begin.

Xxx

It was date night. Since Sheldon wasn't in any state to leave the apartment, Amy was coming over with Indian food. Penny and Leonard agreed to go out for dinner to give their roommate some privacy.

Amy arrived and they began to eat, they discussed Amy's recent work in neurobiology. Sheldon wasn't really paying attention. His mind was on Penny's date; wondering what she was doing with Leonard.

"Sheldon, did you hear me?" Amy said positively beaming, "They're going to publish my paper."

Sheldon set down his fork.

"Amy, I need to speak with you about something," Sheldon began. "I'm not sure how to go about addressing the issue as I think it may not be as straightforward as I'd have once assumed."

Amy said nothing. She just gave the same puzzled look she usually gave when Sheldon began rambling incoherently.

"What I mean to say is- I don't want to hurt you."

"Sheldon, what are you talking about?" Amy asked timidly.

"Well, I'm such an important part of your life, and without me you'll-"

"Sheldon, are you breaking up with me?" Amy asked, her voice cracked just a little.

There was a silence that was too short for Sheldon's liking, but that lasted an age for Amy.

"Yes," Sheldon eventually admitted. "I wish to terminate our relationship."

His words came over Amy in slow motion, like their mockery was just going on and on. She was a small, bespectacled child in the playground surrounded by children much bigger than her. They were pointing and laughing as they encircled her. She was sixteen and she didn't go to prom because nobody asked her, instead she watched the neighbour kids climb into a limo; their laughter ringing in her ears. She was on stage being honoured for her doctorate with nobody there to celebrate with her- not even her mother. Until now, none of that had mattered, because the next image would be her; Mrs Sheldon Cooper Ph.D. beside her magnificent husband and one day their genius children.

In that short space of time, however, Amy's dreams had been dashed. She was destined to carry on as she had begun; alone and secretly hating it but with nobody to notice her cries.

"Why?" Amy said meekly. In her head she demanded to know, but her voice just couldn't project the anger she was feeling. The sadness won over.

"Because I'm not right for you, Amy," Sheldon said.

"You're exactly right for me," Amy corrected, "and I you."

"No. You want somebody who will hold you and kiss you and someday you expect me to have coitus with you. I know you're waiting for it to happen, but it won't. I can't- I'm not that person. Marriage is a notion that baffles me and procreating-" Sheldon stopped.

"I know you're not ready, but there isn't any pressure," Amy assured him.

"I'll never be ready."

Xxx

Sheldon sat up in bed. Amy had left in floods of tears and he knew it was all his fault. If he was in better touch with his emotions he would have felt guilty; but acknowledging that he was the cause of Amy's upset was a big step in his emotional understanding. Right now he was more concerned about a realisation he had had whilst talking to Amy.

He had always known he wasn't ready to have physical relationship with Amy; but a small part of him has considered that maybe someday it would happen. It wasn't until the words 'I'll never be ready,' tumbled out of his mouth that he had started to question whether or not it was true. It seemed that faster than light itself he'd gone from virtually asexual, to confused about his feelings, to wanting his roommate and confessing his love to her. Now he'd been able to take a step back and analyse the situation for what it was. A part of him was still sure that Penny was different, being with her would be different, but he still felt a little uneasy.

He heard Leonard and Penny return home. He wasn't met by the arguing and slamming of doors he had been expecting. He got to his feet, shuffled into his slippers and crept out to the living room.

"Do you want anything?" Leonard asked, he was standing at the refrigerator holding open the door. His voice pleasant and not one of a man who had just had his heart broken.

"No thanks, I'm fine," Penny replied. "I might just go to bed." She looked up to Sheldon as he appeared in the room.

"Okay," said Leonard. "I have some work to finish off and then I'll join you." He gave her a genuine smile and sat at his desk. When his back was turned Penny grabbed Sheldon around his wrist and pulled him back into his bedroom.

She closed the door behind them both and they sat on the bed.

"I couldn't do it," she admitted outright to Sheldon.

"Have you changed your mind?" he asked.

"No! No, not at all." Penny bit her lip – she would give so much just to kiss him right there. Those innocent lips.

"Then what is it?"

"It's just- I just- I don't want to hurt Leonard. I don't want you to take this the wrong way but I care about him. A lot."

"That's fine," Sheldon said truthfully. "I understand."

Penny sighed deeply.

"God, I want to kiss you," Penny said aloud.

Sheldon thought for a moment about what Penny had said. He gazed at her lips and wondered what they'd feel like against his own. What was more intriguing to him however was how his own lips were something of interest to Penny and this sparked something inside of him.

"Why don't you?" Sheldon asked suddenly fearless.

There wasn't even a moment's hesitation or a courteous thought to Leonard, Penny's lips were softly brushing Sheldon's before she could even consider what she was doing was wrong.

The kiss was quick and gentle and they were both surprised when Sheldon responded, mirroring Penny's slow movements. Penny pulled away first for fear of freaking out Sheldon. Their eyes were locked and both seemed to be holding their breath.

"Say something," Penny breathed.

Sheldon didn't say a word. He dipped his head and pressed a more passionate kiss to Penny's lips. He hadn't noticed before that she tasted of white wine masked by something much sweeter. His heart was beating furiously in his chest a mix of fear and excitement that made his world go a bit hazy. His bedroom ceased to exist around him and all he knew was Penny. The taste of her lips, the feel of her soft skin under his fingertips and that ever-present green apple scent. His body began to tune itself to the fury of emotion running through his mind and he was pulling her closer, something unfamiliar wanted her, needed her and he never wanted to let it go. He hadn't noticed when his hand had moved to Penny's bare thigh but now it was grazing higher beneath her skirt, squeezing her warm flesh.

It ended all too soon and the room came blindingly back into view like someone had turned on a bright light.

Penny had pulled away from him and was standing up before Sheldon came to his senses. He looked up at her from his bed.

"I'm sorry, Sheldon, we can't do this. It's not right. It's not fair." Sheldon didn't say anything. "I have to tell him the truth. It's the right thing to do." Sheldon nodded. "I'm going to stay at Amy's tonight-"

Penny paused. She remembered.

"Oh God. Amy! Sheldon, I'm sorry I forgot to ask!"

"I terminated the relationship. Amy was very sad."

"I should go to her. What should I say?" For the first time in her life Penny was nervous about going to see her best friend. "I'll figure it out when I get there."

Sheldon was once again left very confused. The kiss felt so right, so perfect. Hadn't Penny felt it too? It was a big step for Sheldon and he felt almost proud of his achievement. Why hadn't Penny noticed? Sheldon took a deep breath and tried to analyse everything. Maybe he was ready- his body had certainly suggested so. It was Penny, inside himself he was certain, with Penny it would all make sense.

Xxx

Penny had briefly explained to Leonard about Sheldon and Amy on the way out of the door. The nearer she drove to Amy's apartment the more it dawned on her that Leonard would likely try to talk to Sheldon about it, she just hoped Sheldon wouldn't blab about their kiss. Sheldon couldn't keep a secret. Penny felt sick.

She arrived at Amy's apartment still with no idea about what to say to her friend. When she answered the door it was clear Amy had been crying- her eyes were red and swollen, her cheeks flushed and she looked sort of empty.

"Sheldon told me," Penny said. Amy nodded, fresh tears threatening to spill over her lashes. She let Penny in.

"I don't understand," Amy began. "We are perfect for each other. We don't exactly like all of the same things but intellectually we're compatible. And no one will love his little quirks like I do." She sighed.

Penny thought about Sheldon, she wondered if he was speaking to Leonard. She wondered if he had told the truth. Her fingers were twitching on the arm of Amy's couch, she couldn't bear not knowing. She jumped to her feet.

"I'm sorry, Amy. There's just something I have to do."

"You just got here," Amy pointed out, clearly offended.

"I know, but-"

"You're supposed to be my friend. Supposed to comfort me at times like this, like I did when you were hurting over Leonard and he was with Priya. But you're not there for me," Amy accused, "When Sheldon was in the hospital you didn't ask me how I was, you didn't call round to see me. I always told myself that it didn't matter that our friendship was one-sided because at least I actually had a friend, and I was sure you'd be there if I ever really did need you, but you're not-"

"I am!" Penny said, "I just have my own stuff going on right now."

Penny was caught between a rock and a hard place. If she stayed she ran the risk of the truth getting out to Leonard before she could tell him herself. If she left then she would be proving Amy right, she was a terrible friend. Either way it was starting, the cracks were beginning to show.


	7. The Revelation

**Hello again! I'm back with Chapter 7. This one is a bit shorter but I hope you'll like it. I think it's a part of the story some of my readers have been waiting for! As always feedback is appreciated! Enjoy and thanks for sticking with me :) **

When Penny returned home Leonard had already gone to bed. Sheldon was sat in the living room in the dark. Penny jumped when she finally noticed he was there.

"Sheldon? Why are you sat in the dark?" Penny asked, making a conscious effort not to sit down beside him.

"I couldn't sleep," Sheldon said. There was a brief silence. "Do you hate me now?"

"No, sweetie, of course not." Penny realised how insensitive she'd been, leaving Sheldon alone to process a situation he was so completely out of touch with. She knelt on the floor in front of him and pulled him into an embrace. "I'm sorry I left." She pulled away. "I'm going to tell Leonard, I just need you to keep this a secret until I do." Sheldon seemed to twitch slightly. He nodded slowly. "Good night," Penny said as she got to her feet.

Sheldon sighed.

"What is it?" Penny asked softly.

"I don't like it when you get into Leonard's bed," Sheldon confessed. He hung his head, out of shame or embarrassment Penny wasn't entirely sure. She sighed. She wanted to agree, to tell Sheldon she didn't want to be in Leonard's bed but that wasn't fair.

Whether or not she wanted to be in Leonard's bed she had no valid excuse not to be. She had to share his bed, Penny didn't have a choice.

Xxx

The next day Bernadette called everybody suggesting they go for a meal now that Sheldon was starting to become much more mobile. Having not shared the news of her recent break-up with Bernadette, Howard or Raj, Amy agreed to go to avoid raising further questions. Leonard who was completely unaware of any problems in his own relationship happily accepted the invitation for himself, Penny and Sheldon. Penny and Amy separately knew the evening would be far from a normal night and Penny feared their friends would notice something was wrong. Sheldon wasn't keen on the idea either, it was bad enough having to go to another unfamiliar restaurant, let alone when he was burdened with a secret that he couldn't share.

They didn't get off to the best start. Raj, Howard, Bernadette and Amy had arrived first and were ushered to a large, round table where they took their seats. Amy hid behind her menu to avoid conversation, feigning interest in what the restaurant had to offer. Leonard, Penny and Sheldon arrived a few minutes later. Amy upon seeing Sheldon had burst into uncontrollable tears and left the table. Penny followed doing her best to make up for being a lousy friend before. That left Leonard to explain to everyone else what had happened between Amy and Sheldon. This raised more questions which Sheldon didn't want to answer.

"Let me get this straight," Howard began, "you threw away a relationship with the only woman ever to show any interest in you? Are you crazy?"

Leonard shot him a look that warned Howard not to cross some sort of social line with Sheldon.

"She's not the only woman ever to show an interest-" Sheldon caught himself midsentence and thanked a God he didn't believe in that Howard and his quick wit didn't notice.

"Your mother doesn't count, Sheldon."

Bernadette cut in.

"Seriously Sheldon, you broke up with Amy?"

Sheldon nodded.

"Why?" Bernadette asked. "You know she worships the ground you walk on."

There was an awkward silence across the table when Amy returned with Penny. It was a silence Sheldon was thankful for. Amy wanted to apologise to her friends but the words never came. Of course she was hurting over Sheldon but a big part of her pain was from the threat of being outcast from the group. Everyone else had these connections before her time, and she feared being left alone when they all carried on with their lives. They wouldn't just cut her out, but maybe stop inviting her to things until she slowly faded away.

The awkward silence was broken by each of them ordering their food. Bernadette tried to engage Penny in polite conversation but that had ended too quickly. Their food arrived and they each thanked the waiter before the silence fell over what promised to be an uncomfortable evening for everyone.

Sheldon sat uncomfortably, not entirely sure what the awkward silence meant. He was under the impression that a terminated relationship wasn't a huge deal, Leonard and Penny had done it many times. Logic suggests that if something ends, you move on, there's no sense in dwelling on it. But, as he feared, that was obviously not how Amy felt. He hadn't meant to hurt her when he had broken up with her, and he was sure that concealing the truth wasn't the best method to progress either.

His nervous ticks were on red alert as he glanced at the six faces surrounding him at the table. Beside him was Leonard who briefly looked up and caught his gaze. He gave a meek smile before returning to his food. There would be no hope for their friendship when Leonard learned that Penny and Sheldon had kissed. Sheldon looked to his other side where Raj sat alongside Howard and then Bernadette. Sheldon wasn't particularly close to Bernadette but he was sure to lose her friendship considering the hurt he'd caused Amy. He recalled his sister telling him that girls stick together before she and her friend had locked him out of the house after his mother had gone to sleep. Next was Howard and of course he would always side with Bernadette, and Raj with Howard. Not to mention that Raj and Howard were Leonard's friends before Sheldon's. Next around the table was Amy, who hadn't taken a bite of her food but twirled it around her fork. Sheldon glanced over to her quickly, not wanting to catch her eye. And then there was Penny.

The corner of his mouth twitched as he looked over at Penny. When she caught him starring she gave him wide, forceful eyes to break his gaze. Sheldon cleared his throat and began to play with his own food. His hands began to shake urgently and his metal fork tinkled against his plate. In a rush a fear he jumped to his feet, as did Penny and they stared at each other across the table.

"You okay, buddy,' Raj said to Sheldon.

Everybody's eyes turned to Penny after following Sheldon's gaze. Penny was still on her feet clutching her silverware in her fists, face pale but quite expressionless.

"Y-Yes," Sheldon stuttered, "Umm- Excuse me." Sheldon didn't leave the table as intended. His eyes locked again with Penny's. She silently held her breath and prayed for Sheldon not to lose his cool.

Amy's eyes flickered between Sheldon's twitching face and Penny's frozen one. After one last flicker her eyes came to rest on Penny, Amy turned her head to face her, looking up from where she was seated.

"You?" Penny met her gaze. Everyone turned to the sound of Amy's voice. "There is something going on isn't there?" Amy voice was quiet but demanding.

"What?" came Leonard's quiet disbelief.

"You and Sheldon?" Amy asked Penny directly, still quiet, before turning to look at Sheldon. He was staring at his plate.

"Penny, what's going on?" Leonard spoke louder. Sheldon didn't move.

"No- Nothing," Penny began, she was cut off, this time by Sheldon's voice. The heads around the table turned in his direction.

"We kissed," Sheldon admitted in a quiet, shameful tone without lifting his head.

Penny made a sound as though all of the air had been pushed out of her. Her knees buckled and she slumped back into her seat. She put her head in both hands, covering her eyes.

In that moment a million thoughts ran through Penny's mind. Firstly fear, fear of the impending doom that was heading her way from all sides of the table. Anger at herself, at Sheldon. Guilt, mainly for Amy, but partly for Leonard. Overwhelmed, sad, lost, hurt, and... Relieved. She wiped the tears from her face and without looking at her acquaintances, she rose from the table and exited the restaurant.

Leonard got up and followed her. Sheldon imagined that somehow Leonard would blame himself for this and beg Penny to stay. Sheldon was still frozen where he stood. His mind was telling him to follow Penny but the rest of his body was failing him.

"Uh, Bernie? Why don't you get Amy home? Raj and I will settle the check and take Sheldon home," Howard suggested. Bernadette nodded and took Amy's arm. Amy sat, unmoving, until Bernadette gave her a tug. Then there was an outburst.

"WHAT THE HELL, SHELDON!" Amy yelled, her tone both angry and hurt. She opened her mouth to shout some more but words failed her again. She wanted to scream about how she'd been the perfect caring and loyal girlfriend. How she'd spent nearly four years waiting for him to give something back to their relationship. More importantly though how she'd wait a thousand years if it meant she'd eventually be with him properly because she just loved him so much. Instead silent tears rolled down her cheeks and she allowed herself to be pulled away.

Raj returned having paid the whole bill and stood to face Sheldon.

"Come on, buddy," he said softly. He and Howard guided Sheldon out of the rear exit away from everyone else. Many faces stared at them from round tables as they left. Amy's outburst had attracted their attention and now they were focused on the ghostly face of a man who looked like a lost boy.

At the front of the restaurant Bernadette was walking out with Amy. Penny pushed Leonard away from her.

"Amy- Amy, wait! Amy, I'm so sorry," Penny pleaded with the girl who had put all her faith in her first and best friend. Amy didn't turn to look at Penny, nor did she say anything, she simply let herself be steered towards a cab, sat down, and the door slammed behind her. Leonard was rambling angrily behind her but Penny wasn't taking in a word of it.

"I didn't mean for this to happen," Penny exclaimed. "I mean it was Sheldon- how could I have known?"

Bernadette slip into the cab beside Amy without a word to Penny. The cab began to pull away and Penny cried after it, calling to her friend in desperate futility.

"Amy, please!" Tears of frustration and sadness rolled down Penny's cheeks.

Leonard looked longingly at his future wife waiting for an explanation that he supposed he'd never get. Penny turned to him with tears on her face.

"Look, Leonard-"

"I don't understand how this could have happened," Leonard said almost calmly. "It's Sheldon. Sheldon! He's a robot!" His voice was growing angry.

"You shouldn't underestimate Sheldon," Penny defended.

"God," Leonard blinked back threatening tears and looked up at the sky. Those words hadn't fallen lightly on him. "Amy was right and I never took her seriously."

"What are you talking about?" Penny asked, somewhat irritated.

"Howard and Bernadette's anniversary party. You and Sheldon dancing. He'd never interact with another person like that. Amy noticed, and it wasn't the first time. You hurt her the night you went off with Sheldon to see that psychic. You just trample all over people, Penny."

Penny was clearly shocked by Leonard's accusation.

"There's people like you in the world and then people like me and Amy and the other guys. You wouldn't know what it feels like to grow up being bullied, to have people avoid showing you any affection. Is it any surprise that we fall in love so hard? Then there's people like you who win the affections of every person in the room. You've learned not to take it seriously when someone puts their entire heart and soul into caring for you."

"That's not true," Penny argued. "I know what it's like to fall in love and I know what it's like to have a broken heart."

"And soon Sheldon will too, when you treat him in exactly the same way."

"That's not fair."

A cab approached from the rear side of the restaurant and passed them waiting on the sidewalk. Penny's eyes locked with Sheldon's in the back seat for one brief and final time that evening before he was whisked away from view. That last glance of his sombre eyes leering through the glass would keep Penny awake that night.


	8. Texas

**Hello! Here is chapter 8. There are some parts to this chapter I really like and really enjoyed writing. WARNING mature content in the chapter. Please only read this one if you are comfortable with adult themes. If you search 'Beautiful Light Music' in Youtube I was listening to Ocean Breeze by relaxdaily when I wrote this. I think it adds something to the final scene. Hope you enjoy it, let me know what you think! I just want to say a big thank you to my reviewers, favs and followers of this story, it really means a lot that my first BBT fic has had such a positive response :) **

Sheldon rushed like a scared deer to his bedroom when he heard keys in the lock. Raj and Howard and left moments before and Sheldon had been waging a war in his mind about whether to face Leonard and Penny or to hide away in his room. Of course hiding away seemed much more preferable. Of fight and flight, Sheldon was definitely the flighty sort – after all, he'd spent a lifetime running from bullies.

He clicked his bedroom door shut as silently as he could and perched on his bed. He reached underneath his pillow and pulled out Penny's shirt. He'd found it there days before and 'forgot' to remind her about it. He breathed in its scent and wished Penny would walk right through his bedroom door and kiss him like she had done the previous day.

The apartment door closed with a mighty bang and shouting could be heard from the living room.

"What do you want me to do, Penny, walk the streets all night?" Leonard yelled.

"Don't exaggerate. All I said was you could stay at Raj's for tonight."

"And leave you alone with him?"

"You're being pathetic!" Penny moaned. "The three of us can't stay here now."

"So, Sheldon can leave, can't he?" Leonard spat.

"What good will that do?"

"Why don't you just admit you want to be left alone with him," Leonard said.

"Of course I do. But it's not like anything is going to happen."

"Oh please, Penny I know you. You move at warp speed."

"Excuse me!"

Leonard paused at it was clear he had regretted what he had said, even if there had been some truth in his words.

"Look, I didn't mean that."

"Yes, you did. I think you should leave." Penny was close to tears again.

"What about us?" Leonard said, still somewhat hopeful.

"Leonard, there is no us," Penny said quietly.

He nodded.

"How long have you known?" He asked.

"Not long."

"How long?" Leonard demanded.

"I don't know! Maybe since Sheldon was in the hospital," Penny told him.

"Did you ever want to marry me?"

"Yes!" Penny insisted. "It's like you think I've switched off every feeling I ever had for you. I haven't, Leonard. I still care about you. I just can't stop myself from loving him. Things have always been uneasy with us- And now I know why."

"Why?"

"Because- Because you were so obviously in love with me. So loud and vibrant. And I was someone worth shouting off the rooftops about. But that's not what I want. I need someone who doesn't want to show me off. Who loves me for what I bring to their life despite all my flaws. And someone who needs me just like I need them."

"And you think that person is Sheldon?" Leonard tried to force a ridiculing laugh but tears were fresh in his eyes.

"Yes," a voice said from across the living room. Sheldon had emerged silently from his bedroom.

Penny's eyes lit up from the kitchenette and poured longingly into Sheldon's, neither dared to move.

"Really?" Something snapped and Leonard was charging like a bull across the apartment. He seized the front of Sheldon's shirt and raised a fist.

"Leonard, no!" Penny screamed. She launched herself across the room and grasped Leonard's wrist before he could lay the blow on Sheldon. She stood between the pair, arms outstretched with a hand on each of their chests. She was glaring at Leonard like a lioness protecting her pride.

Leonard turned on his heel and made to march out of the apartment door. Though he tried to hide his face from them, Penny heard him sniffle and saw him wipe his eyes as he did so. Leonard was defeated. Penny felt awful.

She sighed deeply.

"Are you okay?" Sheldon asked her before she got a chance to.

"I was going to ask you the same thing," she sniffled.

Sheldon didn't need to be asked. He took Penny's forearm and pulled her into an embrace.

Xxx

Leonard arrived at Raj's apartment. He knocked slowly on the door as though his arm was weighed down by some unknown force. Raj answered, he gave Leonard a sympathetic look. He knew Leonard had been crying.

"Come in," he welcomed in a quiet voice. Howard was sat on the couch.

"What happened?" Howard asked in a gentle tone, already suspecting the answer.

"I walked out," Leonard said. "After I almost punched Sheldon."

Howard and Raj exchanged concerned glances.

Leonard moved to sit beside Howard on the couch, sandwiched between him and Raj.

"So, it's true?" Howard said in a tone of clear disbelief. "Penny and Sheldon?"

Leonard sighed and blinked quickly.

"Yeah." The one word burned in his heart more than he could have ever imagined. "And it wasn't just a kiss. She says she loves him." Leonard choked on his words. He felt Raj's hand rubbing circles on his back.

"I don't know what happens now," Leonard squeaked, letting his tears finally break their barriers. He fell apart with his friends at his sides.

Xxx

"Please talk to me," Bernadette said softly.

Amy had been sat on the couch unmoving and unspeaking since they got back from the restaurant. Her face was wet from tears and sweat and snot but she didn't seem to notice, nor would it have mattered if she did. Tears rolled from her eyes right down to her chin before falling into a damp patch on her lap.

The only sound she made was when she occasionally lost control of her breathing and gasped to catch her breath. Each time Bernadette looked up hoping Amy would say something.

"I know it means nothing now, but it will get easier," Bernadette felt her words were almost cruel but prayed they might offer an ounce of comfort to Amy. Amy shook her head.

"People break up all the time and it gets better," Bernadette said. Amy stared blankly at the wall behind Bernadette. She was shivering.

She expected to feel unbearable pain like she wanted to scream but she didn't. She felt, if anything, empty. Like there was no world around her and she was just walking endlessly through a blank universe with nothing and nobody. She couldn't even think of a scenario, of words she's like to hear to make her feel better. She had gone beyond that and now there was nothing.

"Do you want me to stay here with you tonight?" Bernadette asked. Amy didn't seem to hear her. "Amy?"

Amy looked up.

"Do you want me to stay here tonight?" Bernadette repeated. Amy shook her head.

"Do you want anything before I go?" Amy shook her head again.

"I'll call you in the morning," Bernadette said. Amy didn't respond.

On the other side of the apartment door Bernadette sighed. She felt so guilty about leaving Amy but she had to work in the morning. She also felt frustrated that she was put in this position. She was angry at Penny, but this wasn't her fight and she didn't want to lose Penny's friendship. A part of her wanted to wish Penny all the happiness in the world; another part wanted to slap her for being so cruel. She shook the thoughts from her head and made to go home. Right now she wanted to go home to her husband, lock the door and pretend this madness didn't exist outside their own little world.

Xxx

It didn't matter that they made the decision at 2 o'clock in the morning. Penny and Sheldon each with a small suitcase in hand climb into a cab which drove them to the airport in the middle of the night. Less than four hours later they landed in Texas and took a cab to Mary Cooper's house.

Sheldon had been more than a little concerned about flying, but Penny held his hand nearly the whole way there. And he didn't die or have to use the bathroom so he concluded that it wasn't all that bad.

"My goodness, Shelly, what are you doing here?" she greeted, still in her robe. Her coffee and toast was waiting for her at the breakfast table. "The Lord knows I've only just got myself out of bed. I wasn't expecting company." She pulled her robe tightly around herself and looked at Penny. "And how are you, my dear?" she asked with a warm smile.

"Mom, can we sit down and talk?" Sheldon asked.

"Of course. Can I get you kids anything? Coffee, juice?" Sheldon shook his head.

"No thank you, Mrs. Cooper," said Penny. They all sat around the breakfast table.

Mary picked up her cell phone.

"Mom, you're texting," Sheldon pointed out, recognising that he'd never seen his mum send a text message before, nor had he received one from her.

"Well, I have to tell your sister you're here. Wait until you see baby Lee, he's grown so much since you were last here, Shelly."

Penny smiled to herself. Sheldon had never mentioned that his nephew was named after him.

"Mom, can we talk now?" Sheldon pushed.

"Of course, I am all ears." She placed a hand over Sheldon's. "What's troubling you?"

"Well, firstly mother, you should know that about three weeks ago, I was attacked in the street."

Mary's gasp was loud and dramatic. "My baby, are you okay?" she cried out.

"Yes, I'm fine now, but I was in the hospital for two weeks. I didn't want to worry you and you can see now that I'm fine."

It took quite a while for Sheldon to calm his mother's worry but eventually she accepted he was okay. She personally checked the wound mark in his side before she was convinced, something Sheldon made clear he was unhappy with. When they'd settled back at the table, Sheldon continued.

"Secondly, I broke up with Amy- because I realised I was in love with somebody else."

"Oh," said Mary.

"Oh?" repeated Penny who had been silent all this time.

"And am I right in guessing that you, my dear, are the other woman?" Mary asked Penny.

"Yes," Penny said quietly, not entirely pleased to be labelled '_the other woman._'

"Well, if you're happy, Shelly, then I'm happy. You just make sure you look after this young lady."

Penny smiled.

Xxx

Leonard returned to 4A to find it empty. He wondered where Sheldon and Penny had gone. He sat down at his desk, fired up Skype and did something he usually wouldn't willingly do. Call his mother.

"Dr. Beverly Hofstadter," Beverly greeted in her monotone voice.

"Mom?" Leonard said sadly.

"Yes, Leonard."

"I need to speak with you, and I know in our family we don't show emotions but if you could put that to one side and show some sort of maternal capacity I'd be really grateful." The tears from the previous night came screaming back and Leonard fell apart in the empty living room in front of his computer.

"What is it, dear?" Beverly questioned, her voice not as compassionate as Leonard would have liked.

"Penny broke up with me-"

"Again?"

"-and she's gone off with Sheldon somewhere. They're- together."

"Interesting. Have you considered the reason for that is his superior intelligence?"

Leonard swallowed hard. He couldn't deal with his mother putting him down on today of all days.

"You know what, this was a bad idea. Goodbye."

He slammed the lid of his laptop down and breathed deeply.

Xxx

"Shelly!" Missy gave her twin brother a one-armed hug, cradling a peaceful infant in her other arm. "Look, Lee, it's uncle Shelly," Missy cooed.

"Uncle Dr. Cooper," Sheldon corrected. Missy rolled her eyes.

"Awww, can I hold him?" Penny asked. Missy handed the baby over without a moment's hesitation.

"He looks cute now, let me tell you it's not so cute when he's screaming at 3am and my nipples are raw."

Sheldon noticeably cringed and took a step back. Penny and Missy giggled.

"So, tell me, Penny. What are you thinking going out with our Shelly? You know he's not what the rest of us call 'normal' right?" Both women giggled again, Penny looked affectionately across at Sheldon. They hadn't had a moment together alone since they left the apartment back in Pasadena.

"Come on, Shelly, your turn," Missy said scooping up the baby from Penny's arms and handing him to Sheldon. Sheldon protested but could do very little to stop the baby being placed into his arms.

"Are you okay there with him, Shelly?" Missy asked. "Penny and I are going up to my room to talk about you." She shot him a cheeky smile.

"You can't leave me here!" Sheldon exclaimed.

"You'll be fine, just don't drop him." Missy and Penny disappeared from the room. Sheldon heard their footsteps on the stairs.

Mary appeared in the living room.

"There's my grandbaby," she cooed and sat on the couch beside Sheldon. She looked at him with a concerned gaze. "Now, you tell me, Shelly, what's going on with that young lady of yours?"

"What do you mean?" Sheldon asked.

"Well one minute you're with Amy and she's with that Leonard fellow and now the two of yous are together. What happened?"

"I don't know when it started for Penny, we haven't really had time to talk, but when I was in the hospital- no, even before then something changed. Penny was the one friend I could be myself around completely; I didn't have to hide or be afraid. We danced one night at a party and I held her and it didn't feel wrong. You know the way I am, Mom, I don't like any form of physical contact and I was never going to, as you put it, sin with Amy. And I know now that it's because the only person I could ever be with in that way, ever trust to let my barriers down with is Penny."

"I get that, but I'm not certain she feels the same. She's let her barriers down with a lot of men from what I've been told," Mary said.

"I'm not going to deny that," Sheldon said quietly.

"So?"

"So, nothing, Mom. I want to be with Penny. It's taken a lot for me to overcome my fears and accept what this for what it is. I guess you could say scientific curiosity has got the better of me."

"And you're happy?" Mary asked.

"More so than I've ever been."

"Then I'm happy for you, Shelly. She's a mighty fine woman. You take care of her."

Sheldon smiled almost a little shy.

"Now what are you going to do about your friends?"

Xxx

Amy awoke still laying on her couch. She was shivering. The crushing reality of the previous night was a painful reminder of the life she was now forced to live.

She walked to the bathroom, undressed quickly and got into the steamy shower. She stood swaying under the hot water as it beaded and rolled down her pale skin.

She thought about Sheldon and Penny. She pictured her kissing his lips, stroking his arm, holding him and it burned in her heart. _Why? Why did he want Penny but not her? _Amy thought. But she knew why. She told herself that Penny was beautiful. She told herself that she had seen it coming and did nothing to stop it. It was her own fault.

She turned up the heat on the shower so that it was only just bearable as it scolded her skin. Of all the people in the world Penny had to be the least compatible with Sheldon. _How did this happen?_ She couldn't shake the thought of Sheldon saying the words she had longed to hear for so long. Why did he have to go and fall in love with Penny?

As she dried herself and dressed for work Amy wondered what her life would be like without Penny. She wasn't ready to take on board a life without Sheldon. She'd miss Penny's spirit, the Penny that made Amy feel like a high school girl again. The Penny that gave her the teenage years she'd missed out on. The Penny who seemed to start fading quite a while ago to be replaced by this version that Amy didn't like anymore.

Amy didn't grab a bite on her way out, she declined three calls from Bernadette and drove straight to work. Her lab was colder, more clinical and hostile than usual and she resented it. She picked up one of the beakers left out from the previous day. It reminded her of the time Sheldon had tried to wash them. She let it slip from her fingers and shatter to the ground.

She fell to the floor in heaving sobs. She pictured it as though it were yesterday. Her boyfriend, Sheldon, in her lab with her. And now he was gone. How could she carry on her normal life? She was alone and she had no one.

She sat on the cold tiled floor, her body shaking and the sobs coming so hard they burned her throat. She took out her cell phone and flicked through photos of Sheldon and of them together. She knew she was just making it worse, she was torturing herself but she couldn't stop. She wanted to see him, pretend her was hers and that they were happy.

Her sobs were loud and desperate but she was alone and nobody was going to make her life better. It was over.

Xxx

There was a knock at 4A, Leonard dragged himself off the couch and answered the door.

"Mom?" he greeted, clearly surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"I am your mother, I came to see if you were suffering from emotional distress."

Leonard sighed and shut the door behind her. He wished the tears would stop welling in his eyes every time he thought about Penny.

"I don't know what to do, Mother," his voice was strangled. "The thought of her with Sheldon makes me feel sick to my stomach. I can't help think _why him? _It feels like my hearts going to burst."

"Now, I don't like to see you like this," said Beverly. "Come on." She held out her arms to him and he looked at her unconvinced. When she didn't move he shuffled across the couch into her arms and rested against her shoulder. For the first time in his life, Beverly embraced her son.

"I know you were fond of that girl, Leonard," Beverly said. "You're also far too emotional for your own good."

Leonard sniffed. Beverly paused.

"And- I'm here for you."

Xxx

Sheldon, Penny and Mary we sitting in the living room watching the television; a game show Sheldon hadn't really cared for. It was getting late and Sheldon wanted to head to bed. He wasn't sure of the protocol. Did he ask Penny to share his room, share his bed? Did he offer her the guest room? He didn't know.

"Penny," he said quietly. Penny looked up from the television. "I want to go up to bed."

"Okay," Penny said. Sheldon looked somewhat worried she noted. She raised her hand to him and he pulled her up off the carpet where she had been sitting. Once she was stood he didn't let go of her hand.

"Goodnight, Mrs. Cooper," Penny said. She waited for Mary to pipe up about how the unmarried couple weren't to share a room but she seemed far to engrossed in the television.

"Goodnight, dear," she said quickly without taking her eyes off the screen.

Penny felt a tug at her hand, Sheldon was pulling her toward the hall.

Penny couldn't have imagined the battle of thoughts going on inside Sheldon's head as he slowly and fearfully climbed the staircase, leading Penny behind him. He was more than aware that Penny may wish to have coitus and while a part of his was curious he still felt very nervous.

They reached the landing and Sheldon led Penny to his bedroom. They crept in slowly and Sheldon shut the door behind them. He turned on a dim lamp on the bedside table and sat on the bed. He patted the space beside him for Penny to join. She smiled sweetly and perched beside him.

"Penny, I- I want to try something- If that's okay with you," Sheldon said quietly.

"Okay," Penny said slowly. "What?"

"Actually, I was hoping you might show me-"

Penny nodded. Her mouth had gone dry and she felt anxious. "Okay," she breathed.

She looked into his eyes, his pupils were dilated; she assumed from fear, and his breathing was quick and heavy. She turned to face him still sat on the bed and took both of his hands in hers. "Are you sure?" she whispered. He took a deep breath and nodded.

She slowly raised her hands to his hips, making sure his eyes followed so that he knew what she was doing. He seemed no more uneasy when her skin came into contact with his shirt so she proceeded to pull it off over his head.

She took both his hands in hers and gave them a reassuring squeeze before slowly gliding her hands up his arms, over his shoulders and to rest around his neck. When he didn't flinch she pulled herself so that her clothed body was pressed against his bare chest. She nestled her head under his chin and breathed him in. She slowly stroked her hands over the warm skin of his torso and waited for him to relax. He did, she felt him nuzzle in her hair and sigh. His hands found their way around to her back and he was holding her.

She licked her lips and leaned in closer to him and when her lips were an inch from him she breathed, "Tell me to stop." When he didn't, she leant forwards and pressed her lips to his. Even though they had kissed before, this time it was different and Penny knew to tread carefully. Sheldon's lips were soft. She hesitated a moment, remaining completely still before moving her lips against his. He slowly moved his too.

Sheldon ran his hands down Penny's waist, admiring the slender and elegant curve to her body. Her lips were gentle like butterflies dancing and he was comforted by the aroma of green apple.

Sheldon pulled away first, quite breathless and looking rather pale, his hormones had caught up at last and his body was telling him he wanted more.

"Are you okay?" Penny said softly. Sheldon nodded.

He gave her a genuine warm smile. He was so happy. "Yes," he breathed. He rested his forehead against Penny's her arms still around his neck. They gazed into each other's eyes and both giggled.

Sheldon relaxed a little with their next kiss, moving against Penny's lips with only a little hesitancy. She took this as a breakthrough and decided to proceed. He rested her hand on his clothed leg and slowly grazed Sheldon's thigh, getting closer to where his manhood was pressing against his pants. Her hand hovered a few inches below, remembering to give Sheldon time to adjust.

His breathing quickened and Penny pulled away. She surveyed his pale face glowing in the dim lamplight. He was beautiful. Sheldon's hands were still tracing feather light touches over the contours of Penny's waist and it was she who was surprised when his fingers slipped beneath the fabric of her shirt and caressed her skin. It was only the slightest touch but it made Penny feel wonderful. She closed her eyes at enjoyed the feeling of Sheldon's hands admiring her body. He lifted her shirt off over her head.

When the cold air made her shiver she shifted back onto the bed, leaning against the headboard. She pulled Sheldon beside her and rested against him. She freed herself from her bra and cuddled up to him, finding warmth with their bare chests pressed against each other. She turned into his neck placing light kisses up to his ear where she nibbled so gently. _Butterflies_, he thought.

"Penny," Sheldon murmured. Penny stopped what she was doing and checked to see that Sheldon was alright. He was, he seemed perfectly relaxed.

"Mhmm," she sighed contently.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love _you_," she whispered back and gave him a warm smile.

She leant in closer for another kiss which Sheldon relaxed into. It amazed Penny how easy she was aroused just by kissing Sheldon. She wanted him. She ran a hand up his thigh once more, still dancing her lips across his. She rested her hand on his concealed erection, she let her fingers play with the button on his pants.

His breathing became uneasy again and their lips broke apart.

"It's okay," Penny breathed. Sheldon swallowed hard, suddenly aware of how real this was all becoming. He breathed deeply and nodded to Penny.

Penny manoeuvred to kneel beside Sheldon, briefly feeling the cold away from the warmth of his chest. She popped open the button on his pants, pulled down the zipper and wiggled him out of his pants; his underwear pulling down with them. She pulled off her own jeans and panties for good measure and knelt naked beside him.

It was clear to Penny that Sheldon felt vulnerable. He was gazing down at his own naked body and pulled his knees up to his chest. She peered into his fearful eyes lovingly and silently told him he was safe. She crawled closer and rested her hand on his knee without breaking eye contact. He reached for her hand and held it tightly as though if he let go he'd fall off the planet. He took several deep breaths, eyes tightly closed and Penny rubbed circles onto the back of his hand with her thumb.

He sighed once more before his eyes flickered open. He unclenched and slid his feet down the bed, straightening his legs. Penny didn't move, she waited for some sort of indication that he was ready which came in the form of his hand on her thigh and one in her hair pulling her lips to his. For what would be the final time that night she grazed her hand up his thigh, slowly but didn't stop this time.

When she pulled out of the kiss, her hand wrapped around his manhood, she was pleased to see his eyes shut and his face relaxed. He was holding tightly to her hip. She came to straddle him, sitting back, her bottom resting on his knees. She leant forward to kiss him and he responded more eagerly. Her hand was still grasping him and she began to move it in a slow rhythm. His hands found her waist again and slid up to cup her round breasts. She shuffled forwards. It was going to happen. She positioned herself above him, still holding him firmly in her hand and waited.

"Sheldon," she breathed. His eyes were wide and had lost the lull they previous wore. He felt his breath hitch in his throat. A part of him wanted to pull Penny down on top of him. A part of him was hungry for her, but the fear he anticipated might take over was getting stronger. Penny looked beautiful in the lamplight, her golden curls falling about her shoulders. He heard her breathe his name.

"Do you want this?" she asked.

He'd breathed the word 'yes' before he'd even thought about it. He was terrified but so curious about what was about to come. He wanted this, he wanted Penny and his body begged for him to let his fears go.

She came down on top of him slowly and she felt wonderful. His fear washed away like the tide on the shore. His eyes blinked shut and he let the waves wash over him. He was in paradise.

Penny moved slowly, savouring the feeling of Sheldon. She looked down on him, calm and relaxed. When his eyes flickered open they were teary. Only one droplet escaped and rolled back towards his ear. Penny raised a hand to stroke the side of his face, wiping away the glistening trail the tear had made. She smiled at him.

Sheldon's hand were at her hips, something was taking over and he wanted her. She quickened the pace and they moved together. A quiet moan escaped Penny's lips and Sheldon responded, thrusting into her. He was growing in confidence, taking more of what he wanted and giving it back to Penny.

Sheldon's breathing intensified as his body took complete control, he began to tremble then shudder. Something unfamiliar was building inside him in a way he'd never felt before. Penny noticed Sheldon's grip at her hips tighten and his eyes open in unease. She slowed down and gave him another reassuring look.

Sheldon stopped moving and Penny fell still on top of him. His breathing was panicked and he broke the eye contact with Penny. In that brief moment she was worried she'd gone too far, that she'd let him down and lost his trust.

"It's okay," she soothed, she stroked his cheek with her thumb. "Look at me," she said sweetly. Sheldon clamped his eyes shut tightly. "Sheldon," Penny whispered, "do you want to stop."

His eyes came to meet hers and he shook his head. Penny kissed his lips lightly and only for a moment. She began to move again, slowly but getting faster. Sheldon was breathing harder and Penny wanted him more than she'd ever desired anyone.

"Penny," Sheldon whispered, "it's going to happen." Penny nodded, she felt Sheldon's hand finding hers and grip onto it tightly as he came undone, spilling warmth inside of her. She followed quickly in an overwhelming sensation like nothing she'd felt before.

When she came floating back to Earth she manoeuvred from Sheldon and came to sit beside him. She pulled the duvet over them both and pulled him into a secure embrace. He was still holding so tightly to her but his breathing had slowed to a normal pace.

"Are you okay, Sheldon?" Penny asked softly. He nodded against her chest.

"Penny," Sheldon mumbled, "thank you for keeping me safe."

She smiled adoringly into his hair. For now their world was perfect. After all, Pasadena was a long way away.


End file.
